Haeckel's Tale (2006, TV movie) - Another bland Masters entry

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Gothic elements fill this packed poster for John McNaughton's Haeckel's Tale

A man wishes his wife back from the dead, but his wish is stunted when he hears 'Haeckel's Tale', in which a curious young man discovers that the strange necromancer Montesquino can bring back people from the other side ...

 

Haeckel's Tale is written by Mick Garris (The Fly II (1989)), adapting a short story by Clive Barker (The Damnation Game (1985)) from anthology Dark Delicacies: Original Tales of Terror and the Macabre (2005), and directed by John McNaughton (Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)). It is part of Garris' Masters of Horror TV movie series as the 12th entry in the first of the show's two seasons.

Jon Polito (Son of Morning (2011)) is good (as always) as Montesquino in this adaptation that was supposed to be directed by George A. Romero. McNaughton seems unable to lift the task of making it come fully to life.

 

Related posts:

 

Other Masters of Horror TV movies: 2006 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]

Fair Haired Child (2006, TV movie) - Malone turns out another weak Masters of Horror TV movie 

Dance of the Dead (2005) - Hooper's ugly Masters of Horror nonsense
Chocolate (2005) - Flavors, visions and eroticism in Garris' TV movie thriller
Deer Woman (2005) - Landis and son's solid Masters of Horror entry 
Cigarette Burns (2005) - Carpenter burns out in weird, tiresome TV movie   

 John McNaughton: Top 10: Best debut movies reviewed by Film Excess to date  

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) - A deeply unsettling portrait 

 

McNaughton speaks about his films in an interview at Filmfest München from 2014 here

 

Cost: Unknown

Box office: None - TV movie

= Uncertain

[Haeckel's Tale was first shown 27 January (North America, Showtime channel) and runs 59 minutes. When Romero was unable to direct it as planned, Roger Corman was approached but also unavailable due to a health problem, and McNaughton was finally hired. Shooting took place in Vancouver, British Columbia. McNaughton returned with John from Cincinnati (2007, TV-series)). Steve Bacic (Killing Gunther (2017)), who plays the young man John Ralston, returned in Safe Harbor (2006, TV movie); Polito in Cutting Room (2006). 2,800+ IMDb users have given Haeckel's Tale a 6.1/10 average rating.]

 

What do you think of Haeckel's Tale? 

The Happening (2008) - Shyamalan's out-there, unsettling, undervalued sci-fi horror

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+ Best Mystery of the Year + Best Sci-fi Horror of the Year

 

Something is clearly completely off in the world on this blue-tinted poster for M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening

 

Out of the blue, trees begin to send out a poison that makes people commit suicide, and that is leading people out into grotesque and frightening situations all around the world.

 

The Happening is written and directed by Indian-born American master filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan (Praying with Anger (1992)), whose 8th feature it is.

Widely ridiculed and unappreciated, this film is mainly a problem for audiences who lack imagination. It is a kind of modern version of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds (1963) and similarly unsettling, - if one has the capacity to be taken up by it. James Newton Howard's (Detroit (2017)) excellent score only adds to this dimension of pleasant genre recall. Shymalan mixes horrific images of events not related to the core story; a couple with a girl, who also fight with the logic of making sense of the strange phenomenon. 

Mark Wahlberg (The Italian Job (2003))  has one of his better, charming roles as a physics teacher. Also good are Zooey Deschanel (Yes Man (2008)), John Leguizamo (Sisters (2015)) and Betty Buckley (Oz (2001-03)) as the old, crazy lady. The Happening at times is a bit out there and wacky, to be sure, but it remains a scary dose of existentialism, and to me it is (strangely) very anxiety-provoking.

 

Related posts:

 

M. Night Shyamalan: Glass (2019) - Shyamalan buries past effort in ominous superhero nonsense 

2015 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED IV]

The Visit (2015) - Shyamalan's creepy mini-comeback

2008 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED III]  

 

 

Watch a trailer for the film here

 

Cost: Reportedly 60 mil. $

Box office: 163.4 mil. $

= Box office success (returned 2.72 times its cost)

[The Happening premiered 10 June (New York) and runs 90 minutes. Shooting took place from August - November 2007 in Paris, France, New York and Pennsylvania, including in Philadelphia. The film opened #3, behind fellow new release The Incredible Hulk and holdover hit Kung Fu Panda, to a 30.5 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it spent one more weekend in the top 5 (#5) and grossed 64.5 mil. $ (39.5 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were France with 12.1 mil. $ (7.4 %) and Japan with 11.3 mil. $ (6.9 %). Roger Ebert gave the film a 3/4 star review, equal in rating to this one. In 2010 Wahlberg said in a press conference for The Fighter (2010) that The Happening was a "really bad movie." The film accrued more than 22.3 mil. $ on video sales in North America. Shyamalan returned with The Last Airbender (2010). Wahlberg returned in May Payne (2008). The Happening is rotten at 18 % with a 4.00/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

 

What do you think of The Happening?

The Horror Show/House III: The Horror Show (1989) - Lousy horror product

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With a tag-line quip to a competing franchise (Nightmare on Elm Street), this poster for David Blyth and James Isaac's The Horror Show certainly intrigues horror fans

Lucas McCarthy has finally caught mass-murderer Max Jenke (Brion James (Foolish (1999))), but due to a mistake his evil gets to live on and haunt McCarthy's family after the man's execution.

 

The Horror Show is written by Allyn Warner (Everyday (1978, TV-series)) and Leslie Bohem (Kid (1990)) and directed by David Blyth (Angel Mine (1978)) and debuting James Isaac (Pig Hunt (2008)). 

You may feel, as I did, bad for Lance Henriksen (Invitation (2003)) for having had to appear in such films as The Horror Show, which is dreck. Two main reasons for the film's failure: 1. It searches out no new territory. 2. The known territory that it does venture into, it handles miserably.

The Horror Show is a highly uninteresting assembly line horror, which also copies from two David Cronenberg movies, Scanners (1981) and Videodrome (1983). (Isaac has identified Cronenberg as his mentor and idol.)

 

This video has 9 minutes of the score by Harry Manfredini from the film

 

Cost: Estimated 3 mil. $

Box office: 1.7 mil. $ - North America only

= Uncertain - but probably a huge flop

[The Horror Show was released 28 April (USA) and runs 95 minutes. Shooting took place in Los Angeles. Blyth was fired during production and replaced as director by special effects coordinator Isaac. The film was retitled for the North-American release to The Horror Show, as it has little relation to the preceding horror comedy films House (1986) and House II: The Second Story (1987), although those two films also have different stories and characters.  The film opened #13 to a 773k $ first weekend in North America. The film was also released in 4 European markets and in Japan, but the grosses are regrettably not reported online. If the film was able to rake in 3 mil. $, it would rank as a huge flop. Roger Ebert gave the film a 1/4 star review, translating to a notch harder than this one. Producer Sean S. Cunningham made another, last House sequel with House IV (1992, video). Blyth returned with Red Blooded American Girl (1990); Isaac with Joe Bob's Drive-In Theater (1995, TV-series) and theatrically with Jason X (2001). Henriksen returned in Johnny Handsome (1989); James in Circles in a Forest (1989). 3,900+ IMDb users have given The Horror Show a 5.1/10 average rating.]

 

What do you think of The Horror Show? 

Hostel (2005) - Roth resurrects sexploitation for terrific horror trip

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 + Best Horror of the Year + Best Mega-hit Movie of the Year + Best Sexploitation of the Year

 

'What is that...?' The inevitable question raised by this effectively chilling, hooking poster for Eli Roth's Hostel

Two young American males and an Icelandic are on a European interrail trip and decide to head to Slovakia, where local prostitutes lure them to a place where businessmen pay to torture and kill such unlucky tourists.

 

Hostel is written and directed by great Massachusettsans filmmaker Eli Roth (Cabin Fever (2002)).

I'm crazy about Roth's reinvigoration of the lurid sexploitation subgenre and the pricelessly grim effects in his early films. Hostel is based on a dark web phenomenon Roth had read about, based in the real world in Thailand, which should be just fiction but, regrettably, may well be horrific reality. His story runs wild with this dark gem of an idea and makes up an exaggerated, entertaining 'American's-nightmare-in-Europe' type horror story.

Hostel is a sadistic cornucopia with a menacing villain in Jan Vlasák's (Zdivocelá zeme (2008-12)) Dutch businessman. 

 

Related posts:

Eli Roth: The Green Inferno (2015) - Roth - of course - exhumes cannibal horror 

The Last Exorcism Part 2 (2013) or, The Not So Last Chicken Exorcism (co-producer)
Aftershock (2012) - Extreme tastelessness in one of 2012's worst films (co-writer/co-producer/co-star) 
Corman's World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel (2011) - Stapleton's Corman doc. is among the year's best films (interview subject)
Inglourious Basterds (2009) - The Movies take revenge on Nazi scum (co-star)
2007 in films - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]  

2007 in films - according to Film Excess 

Hostel: Part II (2007) - Roth's return to Eastern Europe is a wicked horror blast 

2005 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I] 
Cabin Fever (2002) - Eli Roth's awesome skin-rash-inspired breakthrough (co-writer/co-producer/director)

 

 

Roth and others are interviewed about the movie here

 

Cost: 4.8 mil. $

Box office: 81.9 mil. $

= Mega-hit (returned 17.06 times its cost)

[Hostel premiered 17 September (Toronto International Film Festival) and runs 94 minutes. Quentin Tarantino was a fan of Roth's debut Cabin Fever (2002) and encouraged him to write and direct Hostel, instead of the many offers to direct horror remakes that Roth was getting. Tarantino executive-produced the film and lend his name to its posters. Shooting took place from March - May 2005 in Germany and the Czech Republic, including in Prague in a hospital that had reportedly been abandoned for more than 80 years. The film opened #1 to a 19.5 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it spent one more weekend in the top 5 (#5), grossing 47.3 mil. $ (57.8 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were the UK with 7.7 mil. $ (9.4 %) and Germany with 3.6 mil. $ (4.4 %). Roth returned with Thanksgiving (2007, short) and theatrically with Hostel: Part II (2007). Jay Hernandez (Gang Related (2014, TV-series)) returned in Carlito's Way: Rise to Power (2005, video) and theatrically in World Trade Center (2006); Derek Richardson (Men in Trees (2006-08)) in 11 TV and short credits prior to his theatrical return in The Power of Few (2013); and Vlasák in Stríbrná vune mrazu (2005, TV movie) and theatrically in Vratné lahve (2007). Hostel is fresh at 61 % with a 6.20/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

 

What do you think of Hostel? 

Hellboy (2004) - Del Toro's super-antihero is a tiring blast

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Several eye-catching characters stand out on this throw-back painted style poster for Guillermo del Toro's Hellboy

Though he is a demon from hell, Hellboy grows up to become a protector of good in the world, and an enemy of monsters and evil.

 

Hellboy is written by great Mexican filmmaker, co-writer/director Guillermo del Toro (Cronos (1993)), with Peter Briggs (Thunderbirds Are Go (2015, TV-series)) contributing story elements, adapting comic series Hellboy: Seed of Destruction (1994) by Mike Mignola (Joe Golem: Occult Detective 2015-18)).

It is very hard to give a real summary of the story of the movie, which is certainly occult, colorful, edited with rapidity - and forgotten again with rapidity. There is nothing sensational to Hellboy; everything here has been seen before, and notably better also.

Though the title character is marketed as an 'evil' hero, he is really naturally not the least bit evil. His bizarre look is another barrier for me against which the atypical movie finds itself on the wrong side of. Sweet Selma Blair (In Their Skin (2012)) seems miscast as a super-woman here. There are slimy monsters and hyper-stylized images in almost every scene. Hellboy is a tiring companion. 

 

Related posts:

Guillermo del Toro: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) - Øvredal's ascent to big budget moviemaking gets by on weird horror sequences (co-writer)

The day after the day after ... the 2018 Oscars 

The Shape of Water (2017) - Toro's strange monster romance is mostly an amusing fantasy 
Pacific Rim (2013) or, The Monster Resistance
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) - Jackson's megalomania gives birth to the first third of an enormous fantasy whopper (co-writer) 
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010) or, What Creeps in the Dark (co-writer) 
Julia's Eyes/Los Ojos de Julia (2010) - Decent Spanish horror with good craftsmanship, little else (co-producer)
Blade II (2002) or, The Vampire Ass-Kicker 2 

2001 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess 
Top 10: The best big flop movies reviewed by Film Excess to date
The Devil's Backbone/El Espinoza del Diablo (2001) - The excellent Gothic genre-mix that is Del Toro's best film so far 

 

 

Watch a short trailer for the film here

 

Cost: 66 mil. $

Box office: 99.3 mil. $

= Big flop (returned 1.50 times its cost)

[Hellboy premiered 30 March (Los Angeles) and runs 122 minutes. Del Toro was inspired by the classic effects work of Ray Harryhausen for the film, but Harryhausen refused to participate with the making of Hellboy, thinking modern films too violent. Shooting took 130 days from March - August 2003 in the Czech Republic, including in Prague. The film opened #1 to a 23.1 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it spent another 3 weekends in the top 5 (#2-#2-#4), grossing 59.6 % of the total gross (60 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were the UK with 5.6 mil. $ (5.6 %) and Spain with 4.7 mil. $ (4.7 %). The video release of the film went #1, selling more than 500k units in its first week. Del Toro returned with Pan's Labyrinth (2006). Ron Perlman (Run with the Hunted (2019)) returned in Quiet Kill (2004). Hellboy is certified fresh at 81 % with a 6.80/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

 

What do you think of Hellboy? 

Hercules in New York (1970) - Arnie's big, bulging debut

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This bright poster for Arthur Allan Seidelman's Hercules in New York, - which bills Arnold Schwarzegger using a made-up last name that would soon be retired, - certainly doesn't sell itself short

Hercules rises as a young rebel from Olympus and winds up in New York City, where his extraordinary strength soon arouses attention.

 

Hercules in New York is written by Aubrey Wisberg (The Big Fix (1947)) and directed by debuting Arthur Allan Seidelman (Six Dance Lessons in Six Weeks (2014)).

In the following escapades of Hercules, he meets a woman and beats a bear to death, among other things. Naturally this acting debut for Arnold Strong, - better known as Arnold Schwarzenegger (Conan the Destroyer (1984)), - holds quite a bit of curio value. For unknown reasons it wasn't until well into the 1980s that Schwarzenegger would be taken seriously as a starring power in his breakthrough Conan the Barbarian (1982).

The effects are crazy (bad), and the story is loony, - but you can't argue with Schwarzenegger's Mr. Universe shape. It is impressive!

Watch a trailer for the film here

 

Cost: 300k $

Box office: Unknown

= Uncertain - but presumably a flop

[Hercules in New York premiered 25 February (North Carolina) and runs 92 minutes. Schwarzenegger, 22 years old at the time, was encouraged to audition by his bodybuilding friend Reg Park, who had appeared in a number of Hercules movies. He was paid 12k $ for his performance. Shooting took place in October 1969 - ? in New York. Several scenes, including the Times Square chariot race scene, were shot without permits. Schwarzenegger's voice was deemed unusable due to his thick Austrian accent and he was dubbed over by an uncredited voice actor; but Trimark's 'original English dialog' DVD release has Schwarzenegger's voice, only not in the final scene, in which he was not present at the time of shooting. The film seems to have been a flop, but the numbers aren't available to back up the claim. RAF Industries, the only production company behind it, folded up after its release, which seems to have been solely in North America. Rights holder Premiere Pictures attempted to auction off the rights in 2006 for 550k $, but it is unclear (and doubtful) whether they were successful. Seidelman returned with NET Playhouse (1970, TV-series) and theatrically with Children of Rage (1975). Schwarzenegger returned with an uncredited appearance in The Long Goodbye (1973); Arnold Stang (Flying Saucer (1976, short)) with a voice performance in Marco Polo Jr. (1972). 18k+ IMDb users have given Hercules in New York a 3.3/10 average rating.]

What do you think of Hercules in New York?

The Baby's Room/La Habitación del Niño (2006, TV movie) - Creepy scares in Iglesias' psych. horror

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A blood-curdling German release poster for Álex de la Iglesia's The Baby's Room

A couple moves into a new, large house with their infant baby, but soon they start to see and hear strange things around their baby on monitors and via baby alarm. - Or is it all just a reflection of the husband and father's escalating paranoia?

 

The Baby's Room is written by Jorge Guerricaechevarría (The Kovak Box (2006)) and co-writer/director Álex de la Iglesia (Acción Mutante (1993)).

Skillful actors in grim scenes work wonders in this creepy, spine-tingling psychological horror, which also uses the score (by Roque Baños (Nuestros Amantes (2016))) as a considerable part of its dark magic. The simplified plot, which uses the modern technology angle well, could have been stretched out for even greater effect.

 

Related posts: 

Other TV movies from Películas Para No Dormir series: A Real Friend/Adivina Quién Soy (2006, TV movie) - Confusing TV horror drama

Blame/La Culpa (2006) - Undistinguished Spanish abortion TV-flick 

Álex de la Iglesia is guest on a Spanish talkshow in a 14-minute clip from 2020 here

 

Cost: Unknown

Box office: Uncertain - mostly a TV release

= Uncertain

[The Baby's Room was released on DVD 31 July and on Spanish TV 12 January 2007 and runs 77 minutes. It is part of the Películas Para No Dormir TV movie series, the last in a row of similar TV movie series started in 1966 as Historias Para No Dormir by Narciso Ibáñez Serrador. Iglesia returned with Hitler Está Vivo (2006, short), El Código (2006, short) and theatrically with The Oxford Murders (2008). Javier Gutiérrez (Al Final del Camino (2009)), who plays Juan, in Días de Cine (2007); and Leonor Watling (The Vineyard/La Templanza (2021, TV-series)), who plays Sonia, in Teresa, el Cuerpo de Cristo (2007). 5,400+ IMDb users have given The Baby's Room a 6.9/10 average rating.]

What do you think of The Baby's Room?

High Sierra (1941) - Bogart steals the silver screen

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Suspense, danger, violence and one sexy dame - all promised on this poster for Raoul Walsh's High Sierra

Roy Earle is a career criminal who robs a hotel and helps an ungrateful country girl with her club foot and then attempts to run off to the 'end of the world' with his ravishing muse.

 

High Sierra is written by John Huston (The Killers (1946)) and W.R. Burnett (Sergeants 3 (1962)), adapting Burnett's same-titled 1941 novel, and directed by great New-Yorker filmmaker Raoul Walsh (General Villa (1914)).

Humphrey Bogart (Racket Busters (1938)) is magnetic in his first serious lead role, and Ida Lupino (Paris in Spring (1935)) is beguiling as his dame. The story is knotted but thrilling, SPOILER and the ending, in which Earle is shot on the mountain while trying to escape justice, is dizzying. "Free!" 

 

 

Watch a trailer for the film here

 

Cost: 491k $

Box office: 1,489 mil. $

= Box office success (returned 3.03 times its cost)

[High Sierra was released 23 January (USA) and runs 100 minutes. Shooting took place from August - September 1940 in California, including in Los Angeles. The film made 1,063k $ (71.4 % of the gross) in North America. It won a National Board of Review award. It was remade with different titles in 1949 and 1955. Walsh returned with The Strawberry Blonde (1941), the second of four films he directed that year. Bogart returned in The Wagons Roll at Night (1941); Lupino in The Sea Wolf (1941). High Sierra is fresh at 91 % with a 7.70/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

What do you think of High Sierra? 

Hostage (2005) - Siri's solid action-thriller

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Bruce Willis looks tough with a gun in the dark during a heavy downpour on this poster for Florent-Emilio Siri's Hostage

A rich family is taken hostage in an high security LA mansion, but LAPD hostage negotiator Jeff Talley finds himself in a horrific dilemma when his own family also gets taken hostage.

 

Hostage is written by Doug Richardson (Die Hard 2 (1990)), adapting the same-titled 2001 novel by Robert Crais (The Watchman (2007)), and directed by Florent-Emilio Siri (A Minute of Silence/Un Minute de Silence (1998)).

Very well conceptualized and entertaining actioner plays well with an impressive pace and cool photography (by Giovanni Fiore Coltellacci (Figurine (1997))). Also a score by Alexandre Desplat (Carnage (2011)) and a game cast help: Bruce Willis (The Jackal (1997)) and Jonathan Tucker (Westworld (2018-20)) and Ben Foster (Here (2011)) as young criminals from hell do well. - Foster especially goes the distance as a disgusting thug and is quite scary.

Siri has seen his Quentin Tarantino and David Fincher's Panic Room (2002) (and much more) as inspiration for this to be sure, and he keeps us engaged for most of Hostage, before the yelling gets tiring, and we look in vain for something concretely meaningful in the film's second hostage drama. The ending is also a bit confusing.

 

 

Watch a 3-minute clip from the film here

 

Cost: 50-75 mil. $ (different accounts)

Box office: 77.6 mil. $

= Big flop (returned 1.19 times the cost)

[Hostage was released 9 March (Philippines) and runs 113 minutes. Shooting took place from January 2004 - ? in California, including Los Angeles. The film opened #4, behind fellow new release Robots and holdover hits The Pacifier and Be Cool, to a 9.8 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it left the top 5 in its 2nd weekend and grossed 34.6 mil. $ (44.6 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were the UK with 7.7 mil. $ (9.9 %) and France with 5 mil. $ (6.4 %). The big flop status and return listed above is based on a 65 mil. $ cost, which seems likely (and is the one listed by Bombreport.com). Roger Ebert gave the film a 3/4 star review, translating to a notch over this one. Siri returned with Intimate Enemies/L'ennemi Intime (2007). Willis returned in Sin City (2005). Hostage is rotten at 35 % with a 5.00/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

What do you think of Hostage?