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Macho fun and violence is promised on this cool poster for Sammo Hung's The Iron-Fisted Monk
A younger student in a Shaolin temple, who receives training from a similarly aged monk, is introduced to the fight against the evil Manchu rulers.
The Iron-Fisted Monk is written by Pro Hung Ching, Feng Huang (Xue fu men (1971)) and Yu Ting (Project A 2/'A' gai wak 2 (1987)) and directed and starring debuting Sammo Hung (The Victim/Shen bu you ji(1980)). The original Chinese title translates to, 'the three virtuous monks and the broken rice'.
Hung's debut is not his best film but still quite good. A grim rape scene is included in the film. The story is classical and forgettable, but the fight scenes are good.
Watch a trailer for the movie here
Cost: Unknown
Box office: 2.28 mil. HK$, approximately 0.5 mil. $
= Uncertain
[The Iron-Fisted Monk was released 25 August (Hong Kong) and runs 93 minutes. The film grossed around 500k $ in Hong Kong, its only registered market at IMDb. Hung returned with Enter the Fat Dragon/Fei Lung gwoh gong (1978). As an actor he returned first inPo jie (1977); Sing Chen (Ninja Terminator (1986)) in The Amsterdam Kill (1977). 1,1k IMDb users have given The Iron-Fisted Monk a 6.6/10 average rating.]
Clad in an almost foot-long, shiny, black leather coat, star Steven Seagal swaggers away from a fiery inferno on this poster for mink's Into the Sun
Travis Hunter is a former CIA agent with intimate knowledge of Japan, who gets busy when Tokyo's governor is murdered in muddled waters between the Japanese yakuza and Chinese triad gangsters.
Into the Sun is written by Joe Halpin (Dark Blue (2010, TV-series)), Trevor Miller (Riot on Redchurch Street (2012)) and co-writer/co-producer/star Steven Seagal (Absolution (2015)) and directed by mink (Full Clip (2004)).
Among the worst of Seagal's features, Into the Sun is involuntarily funny in its best moments but more often insufferably dumb and boring. Despite a not inconsiderable budget, the film is poorly produced and looks like an ugly TV movie.
Most will give up fast, when it comes to making any sense of the demonstratively insipid material, - one preposterous line has Seagal's Hunter threatening to kill a bully again, if he dies! - And in the obligatory romantic side story Seagal proposes to his Japanese girlfriend in a cherry tree garden, with the young woman weepingly accepting! This scene, by the way, marks the film's romantic highlight, - a romance in which he speaks English, while she speaks Japanese. (...) Later swords and blood splattering is introduced.
Watch a trailer for the film here
Cost: 16 mil. $
Box office: In excess of 175k $ (2/4 markets)
= Box office disaster (projected return of 0.01 times its cost)
[Into the Sun was released 20 May (South Korea) and runs 96 minutes. Shooting took place from March - May 2004 in Bangkok, Thailand and Tokyo, Japan. The film's North American release was canceled and the film was instead released straight-to-DVD in all markets except for 4: South Korea, Italy, Japan and Egypt. It made 164k $ in Japan and 10k $ in Egypt. A projected total gross of 290k $ would rank the film a box office disaster. mink returned only with a video and a TV-series credit, never again directing a feature. Seagal returned in 9 video titles prior to his theatrical return in the role of 'Cock Puncher' in The Onion Movie (2008). 8.2k+ IMDb users have given Into the Sun a 4.3/10 average rating.]
Two nearly naked young stars look enticing on this poster for John Stockwell's Into the Blue
A broke diver with a boat with holes in it, a lovely girlfriend and big dreams get a visit from an old friend and a girl, and soon the group discover a major drug find in the ocean around the Bahamas.
Into the Blue is written by Matt Johnson (Torque (2004)) and directed by John Stockwell (Under Cover (1987)).
If you're gonna watch Into the Blue, it is advisable to leave the plot alone and just enjoy the images of ocean life and beautiful bodies supplied in it. Here's the chance to ogle Paul Walker (Timeline (2003)) and Jessica Alba (The Veil (2016)) in swimwear. The film is overlong and narratively messy - a hodgepodge. It is a shame because an artistically interesting or a better action director might have wrung a great film from this premise.
Walker is supposed to be at times unrealistically boyish and often highly vexed at his pal Scott Caan's (Rock the Kasbah (2015)) shenanigans here. Josh Brolin (Avengers: Infinity War (2018)) is a villain who seems hired directly from an old bikini b-picture. The many underwater scenes, including action scenes, are often bewildering, because the many characters look identical wearing diving goggles.
Watch a trailer for the film here
Cost: 50 mil. $
Box office: 46.1 mil. $
= Huge flop (returned 0.92 times its cost)
[Into the Blue premiered 21 September (Los Angeles) and runs 110 minutes. Walker was paid 8.5 mil. $ for his performance in the film. Shooting took place from January - March 2004 in Florida, the Cayman Islands and in the Bahamas. The film opened #5 (during Hurricane Katrina), behind holdover hit Flightplan, fellow new release Serendipity and holdover hits Corpse Bride and A History of Violence, to a 7 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it left the top 5 in its 2nd weekend and grossed 18.8 mil. $ (40.8 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were the UK with 3.1 mil. $ (6.7 %) and Germany with 2.6 mil. $ (5.6 %). Roger Ebert gave the film a 3/4 star review, translating to 2 notches over this one. Stockwell returned with Rocky Point (2005, TV-series) and theatrically with Turistas (2006). Walker returned in Running Scared (2006); Alba in Shawn Desman: Sexy (2005, TV-series) and theatrically in The Ten (2007). Into the Blue is rotten at 21 % with a 4.10/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
A seemingly shameful co-star Edward Norton stands in the shadow of his incensed monstrous alter ego on this very dark poster for Louis Leterrier's The Incredible Hulk
Bruce Banner has isolated himself in Brazil, where he is nevertheless discovered by the US military, who are eager to use his gamma-induced mutation for weapons purposes. Banner's attempts to squelch his green fury fails, and he instead finds that he has to fight the Russian-born madman Blonsky.
The Incredible Hulk is written by Zak Penn (Elektra (2005)), based on the Marvel Comics character created in 1962, and directed by Louis Leterrier (The Transporter (2002)). It is a kind of reboot of the character, following Ang Lee's Hulk (2003).
On the back of the unfair reception of Lee's fantastic film, it must be said that Leterrier's fanboy appeasement version here is not a gamma ray better.
There's great action, good-looking effects and some neat cast choices: William Hurt (The Village (2004)) as the cynical general is on-point; Liv Tyler (Ad Astra (2019)) is dishy, - but lacks the depth Jennifer Connelly supplied in Lee's film, - and Edward Norton (Primal Fear (1996)) and Tim Roth (The Misfits (2021)) as his enemy are good.
The Incredible Hulk is very cheesy and has thin spots, (as when Hulk towards the end quells a helicopter fire with a clap), and the monster battle climax lacks dramatic air. But it is an entertaining spectacle.
[The Incredible Hulk was released 6 June (Colombia) and runs 112 minutes. Norton, who was not Leterrier's first choice for Banner, was very active in the making of the film, writing his own script, disagreeing with the actual film's ending and runtime, and eventually got denied credit for this writing. Shooting took place from June - October 2007 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, California, Virginia, New York, New Jersey, British Columbia and in Ontario, including in Toronto. The film opened #1 to a 55.4 mil. $ first weekend in North America where it spent another 2 weekends in the top 5 (#2-#5), grossing 134.8 mil. $ (50.9 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were the UK with 15.1 mil. $ (5.7 %) and Mexico with 12.6 mil. $ (4.8 %). The film also reportedly made at least 80.3 mil. $ on the North-American home video market alone. Roger Ebert gave the film a 2.5/4 star review, equal in rating to this one. The Banner/Hulk character was subsequently laid to rest until The Avengers (2012) and its sequels, then portrayed by Mark Ruffalo, but has not had a character-focused feature since The Incredible Hulk. Leterrier returned with Clash of the Titans (2010). Norton returned in Pride and Glory (2008); Tyler in Super (2010); and Roth in Skellig: The Owl Man (2009, TV movie), Sea Wolf (2009, miniseries) and theatrically in King Conqueror (2009). The Incredible Hulk is fresh at 67 % with a 6.20/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
An odd star couple looking odd (and more than a bit funny) on this simple poster for Bruce Malmuth's Hard to Kill
California cop Mason Storm is left in a 7-year coma by a nasty combination of the mob and a crooked local politician. When he awakes, heads are gonna roll!
Hard to Kill is written by Steven McKay (Diggstown (1992)) and directed by Bruce Malmuth (Nighthawks (1981)).
Steven Seagal (End of a Gun (2016)) succeeds in getting a store owner killed, and his own wife, before landing in the incredibly long coma. He awakes with a laughable beard but in otherwise mysteriously perfect shape across from a hilariously unconvincing nurse (model-turned-actress Kelly LeBrock (Gamers (2006))).
Hard to Kill is a braindead movie as inspected from every possible angle; it entertains on the lowest key imaginable as a pure turkey diversion. Malmuth, without any vision, seems to have placed his camera in order to merely observe the various scenes, which are often completely ridiculous. 'Storytelling' would be too fine a word to use in relation toHard to Kill. Seagal throws bad guys through walls, tables and stores in his trademark 'fighting style'. Hard to Kill is a joke.
Watch a trailer for the movie here
Cost: 11.5 mil. $
Box office: 59.3 mil. $
= Big hit (returned 5.15 times its cost)
[Hard to Kill was released 9 February (North America) and runs 95 minutes. Shooting took place from April - July 1989 in California, including in Los Angeles. The film opened #1 to a 9.2 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it spent another 3 weekends in the top 5 (#2-#2-#3), grossing 47.4 mil. $ (79.9 % of the total gross). Malmuth returned with Pentathlon (1994). Seagal returned in Marked for Death (1990). Hard to Kill is rotten at 33 % with a 4.10/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
Star Jason Statham looks intense while apparently dissolving into a swarm of bees on this mostly yellow poster for David Ayer's The Beekeeper
An elderly lady on a remote farm is phone-scammed out of all her savings. But the morally bankrupt crooks behind the scheme did not expect that her barn was housing a mysterious retired beekeeper.
The Beekeeper is written by Kurt Wimmer (Street Kings (2008)) and directed by David Ayer (Harsh Times (2005)).
Part of the charm of this hard-hitting escapism is that it is made without any pretense as to its nature or ambitions. Pairing one of the top action stars of our time, the slick, effective Jason Statham (Furious 7 (2015)) with one of the best testosterone-fueled macho action directors, Ayer, is a strong match, and for action fans an enjoyable one.
The story here is a thin veneer that would be suited for a cheap 1970s exploitation b-picture. And that's more or less exactly what The Beekeeper is, only it's a (not that) cheap 2020s exploitation b-picture. The setup is simple yet effective: Phone wire fraud scams are as widespread today as they are hated, and Phylicia Rashad (The Cosby Show (1984-92)) is ideal as the sympathetic, innocent 'old' lady that the viper's nest of scammer douchebags wring dry. Her drastic reaction justifies the finger-cutting, neck-stabbing, auto-drowning, live-incinerating train of manic vengeance that Statham's cipher character unleashes in response. Expletives and brutal violence go hand in hand, as the super-simple plot soon implicates not only local spaghetti trashMickey Garnett (David Witts (Manhunt (2021, TV-series))) and his immediate boss, young worthless tech guru Josh Hutcherson (The Disaster Artist (2017)), - linking crypto investments to drugs and robbing the elderly in a neat bit of writing, - but also retired CIA director and current rich bastard father Jeremy Irons (Lolita (1997)), - a scoop casting for the film, - and his ex-wife, now a modern two-faced President of the US (Jemma Redgrave (Demon (2021))). There's also a crazed female beekeeper and a gonzo, spit-shooting, one-legged goon performance from Taylor James (Christmas Eve (2015)). Plus Emmy Raver-Lampman (Jane the Virgin (2019, TV-series)) as the personally implicated FBI agent with a giant afro and attitude to spare, who connects the dots and sometimes has Statham's back.
If this sounds outlandish but enjoyable, that's because it is. No, there's no sense in the beekeeper identity that basically has Statham a retired secret government killer, whose life is about keeping bees, collecting honey and stashing it in massive amounts in a barn in the middle of nowhere for eternity (until this shit happens!) And there's no brilliance in the pulpy developments. But they are mostly practical, CG-free action, delivered with all the elegance and refinement that goes along with having a massive pork chop slammed to your forehead. In other words, I dug it!
[The Beekeeper was released January 8 (Philippines) and runs 105 minutes. Shooting took place from September - December 2022 in Massachusetts and in England, including in London. The film opened #2, behind Mean Girls, to a long 18.5 mil. $ MLK opening weekend in North America, where it has just spent its 2nd weekend still at #2. It has 6 markets still scheduled for it to open in during January and February. Likely ending up a profitable endeavor, a 150+ mil. $ gross should likely secure a sequel. Ayer is announced to direct two upcoming films, the Sylvester Stallone co-written Levon's Trade, starring Statham, and a Dirty Dozen remake, - but might Beekeeper 2 come first? Statham is announced to return in Levon's Trade, Martin Zandvliet-helmed Russian mob movie Small Dark Look and Fast X: Part 2 (2025), - but again, who knows if Beekeeper 2 could arrive first? 11+k IMDb users have given The Beekeeper a 6.7/10 average rating.]
+ Most Deserved Flop of the Year + Most Expensive Flop of the Year: 42.88 mil. $ range
A loving embrace in front of a gorgeous display of apocalyptic volcanic eruption makes up this striking poster for Paul W.S. Anderson's Pompeii
A British army leader visits the Roman city of Pompeii and makes an impression at the local gladiator stadium, until Mount Vesuvius' volcano erupts and in a short timespan turns the entire city into a wasteland of lava, fire and ashes.
Pompeii is written by Janet Scott Batchler, Lee Batchler (Batman Forever (1995), both) and Michael Robert Johnson (Sherlock Holmes (2009)) and directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (Shopping (1994)). It is based on the actual destruction of Pompeii in Campania, Italy in 79 AD.
Anderson is and always will be a craftsman in the filmmaking business and specifically the action genre, - but he's no inspired nor a great craftsman. Here he throws beefcakes, forgettable Emily Browning (Golden Exits (2017)), a tsunami and Kiefer Sutherland (Flatliners (2017)) as a sibilant, deeply villainous Brit, (you try if you can abstract from who he really is here), after the fatal demise of Pompeii.
The volcanic eruption is handled in good-looking CGI, while other parts of the contraption, - especially when actors from green screen recordings get injected into designed surroundings, - look unconvincing. It is putting it mildly to say that there is no grand story spun behind this tapestry of destruction, and Kit Harrington's (Brimstone (2016)) delicious locks of hair and razor-cut abs are about all you can admire him for in Pompeii. Carrie-Anne Moss (Jessica Jones (2015-19)) is attractive (and seems tired) in a non-role, while Jared Harris (Chernobyl (2019, miniseries)) and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Wetlands (2017)) manage to instill some personality into their characters and be actually good here.
[Pompeii premiered 18 February (Buenos Aires, Argentina) and runs 105 minutes. Shooting took place from March - July 2013 in Italy and in Toronto, Ontario. The film opened #3, behind holdover hit The Lego Movie and fellow new release 3 Days to Kill, to a 10.3 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it left the top 5 in its 2nd weekend and grossed 23.2 mil. $ (19.7 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were China with 15.6 mil. $ (13.2 %) and Russia with 11.3 mil. $ (10 %). The film additionally made an estimated 8.9 mil. $ on the North-American home video market. Anderson returned with Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016). Harrington returned with a voice performance in How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014) and with a physical performance in Testament of Youth (2014). Pompeii is rotten at 27 % with a 4.40/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
+ Career Killer of the Year: Wolfgang Petersen+ Costliest Flop of the Year: 87.36 mil. $ range
An upside-down cruise ship underwater makes up this disaster-teasing poster for Wolfgang Petersen's Poseidon
The giant cruise ship the Poseidon gets hit on new year's night by a 'rogue wave', which turns it upside down. Chaos ensues inside, as a group of survivors fight their way to the surface!
Poseidon is written by Mark Protosevich (I Am Legend (2007)), adapting The Poseidon Adventure (1969) by Paul Gallico (Miracle in the Wilderness (1975)), and co-produced and directed by German-born American master filmmaker Wolfgang Petersen (Ich Werde Dich Töten, Wolf (1971)). The novel has previously been adapted as The Poseidon Adventure (1972) and Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979).
Really handsome visual effects, especially in the beginning of the film and around the impact of the freak wave, keeps Poseidon above water for a while as a more good-looking, appropriately silly update of the well-known, silly, tiring 1970s movie. We are introduced to plentiful characters, but the encounters become very superficial one and all, and more than once outright laughable in their corniness. Popstar Fergie (Nine (2009)), the black and the latino characters all die relatively quickly, and so the film lives up to the old Hollywood race-profile cliché of letting the white characters outlive other races.
Despite controlled length the film develops sort of like the original Poseidon movie with many long, thrill-less scenes with wet stars, flames and screaming. Petersen fails to elevate this shipwreck.
[Poseidon was released May 10 (Philippines, Thailand) and runs 98 minutes. Shooting took place from June - October 2005 in California, including in Los Angeles. The film opened #2, behind Mission: Impossible III, to a 22.1 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it spent another 2 weekends in the top 5 (#4-#5), grossing 60.6 mil. $ (33.4 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were South Korea with 14 mil. $ (7.7 %) and Japan with 9.9 mil. $ (5.5 %). The film was nominated for the Best Visual Effects Oscar, lost to Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Roger Ebert gave the film a 2/4 star review, equal in rating to this one. The film additionally made in excess of 27.1 mil. $ on the North-American home video market. Petersen returned with Vier Gegen die Bank (2016). Kurt Russell (Vanilla Sky (2001)) returned in Death Proof (2007). Poseidon is rotten at 33 % with a 4.90/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
+ Best Los Angeles Movie of the Year + Best Stone Comedy of the Year
Three popular male stars, - with just two of them receiving credit, - on this smoke-filled poster for David Gordon Green's Pineapple Express
A civil servant visits a pot dealer and gets a new kind of weed called Pineapple Express. On his next trip, however, he witnesses a police murder, which gets connected to him and the dealer.
Pineapple Express is written by Evan Goldberg (Preacher (2016-19)) and co-writer/co-star Seth Rogen (Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (2016)), with co-producer/co-writer Judd Apatow (The King of Staten Island (2020)) contributing story elements, and directed by Arkansan master filmmaker David Gordon Green (George Washington (2000)), whose 5th feature it is.
It is a wacky, potty-mouthed film, ripe with stoner humor, - right from Bill Hader's (The Skeleton Twins (2014)) fairly unrelated 1937-set opening scene to the very end, - but also with flashes of crazy-comedy and deadpan gags. James Franco (The Interview (2014)), Rogen and Danny McBride (Arizona (2018)) compliment each other well and are seconded by scores of other funny folk here, of whom especially Craig Robinson (The Bad Guys (2022)) and the police women (Rosie Perez (Inside the Rain (2019)) and Cleo King (Deadwood: The Movie (2019, TV movie))) are funny.
Pineapple Express, and especially the extended home video version, is overlong, but the laughs are plentiful along the way.
[Pineapple Express premiered 31 July (Hollywood) and runs 112 minutes. Shooting took place from March - May 2007 in California, including in Los Angeles. The film opened #2, behind holdover hit The Dark Knight, to a 23.2 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it spent one more weekend in the top 5 (#5), grossing 87.3 mil. $ (85.3 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were the UK with 6.9 mil. $ (6.7 %) and Australia with 3.6 mil. $ (3.5 %). The film was nominated for a Golden Globe, among other honors. Roger Ebert gave it a 3.5/4 star review, translating to a notch over this one. The film made an estimated 48 mil. $ on the North-American home video market as well. Plans for a sequel stranded, as the stars and filmmakers wanted 50 mil. $ for it, and Sony would 'only' allow 45 mil. $. Green returned with Your Highness (2011). Rogen returned in Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008); Franco in Nights in Rodanthe (2008). Pineapple Express is fresh at 68 % with a 6.30/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
Star Dar Salim's face, enshrouded in darkness and dark garbs and some few fiery sparks make up this poster for Fenar Ahmad's Underverden II
Zaid is in prison for the killings he carried out as revenge for his brother's gangland killing years ago, when he gets contacted by a desperate intelligence officer, who wants him to go undercover to clear out the new gangster leaders in Copenhagen.
Underverden II is written by Behrouz Bigdeli (Snooze (2008, short)) and co-writer/director Fenar Ahmad (Flow/Ækte Vare (2014)). It is the sequel to Ahmad's Darkland/Underverden (2017). The original Danish title translates to 'underworld II'.
The high action ambitions are properly established from the get-go, as a young man is executed outside the capital city's main court building. Birgitte Hjort Sørensen (Vinyl (2016, TV-series)) works well as the responsible intelligence officer, who soon seeks an alternative way to get the hoods through Zaid. His motivation is to sooner emerge to regained freedom and reconnect with his son.
The plot works fairly well as an easy-to-follow action-thriller about a man taking on gang members, not unlike Charles Bronson's classic Death Wish formula. There's plenty of action and menace, but several of the action scenes come off as less than believable. Zaid has no problems temporarily kidnapping a gang leader from a heavily guarded gang headquarter and escaping the situation in the high-rise in one such dubious instance. Director Ahmad's abilities as an action salesman come up short. Machine gun salvos are liberally sprinkled over many scenes, although some audiences will also wince at this, which luckily isn't the norm in any Danish streets and thus feels fairly unrealistic
The labored script keeps up the first film's universe dichotomy of Zaid's resourceful family (now a pregnant ex with the soccer-playing son and a constantly blameful, nagging attitude towards Zaid) against the harsh ghetto life of ruthless crime for other kids and ethnic minority adults that Zaid has to right. It is also conspicuous how Zaid is practically the only character in the film that's been allowed to show feelings in Underverden II: SPOILER The tough gangster leader shows no emotions when his brother is killed (on Zaid's 'watch'), nor does Zaid's son show emotions after their car gets riddled with bullets. - Both instances may feel involuntarily comic for those who stop to think. The gangster boss doesn't become more frightening for not having emotions, but he does get less credible and the film loses more credibility value. Dar Salim (Springfloden (2016-18)) carries the film well mostly SPOILER but fails to get across credibly in a late scene, where he begs for his life.
New-comer Ahmad Ayman is good as the teenage gangster that Zaid becomes a father figure for, and whom Zaid wants to leave that arena, and their dynamic and scenes are among the film's best. Though far less successful than the first film in terms of quality, there is a high chance we are going to see #3 in a few years. Hopefully with a fresh spin.
Watch a trailer for the film here
Cost: Unknown (projected 4.42 mil. $)
Box office: 2.45 mil. $ and counting
= Too early to say (currently ranks a huge flop)
[Underverden II was released 13 April (Denmark) and runs 110 minutes. Shooting took place in Denmark, including in Copenhagen. Its budget has not been announced yet, but it is likely at least 30 mil. DKK, approximately 4.42 mil. $. The film was been #1 in Danish cinemas its first 2 weekends and sold 138k tickets to date, coming to approximately 2.45 mil. $ so far. It is so far not set to be released in other markets. Ahmad does not have his next film announced yet. Salim returned in The Covenant (2023). 257 IMDb users have given Underverden II a 7.1/10 average rating.]
