John Carter (2012) - Bloated Mars-nonsense yawner

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+ 3rd Worst Movie of the Year
+ Most Expensive Flop of the Year

Huge Mars-monsters trying to sell Andrew Stanton's John Carter

John Carter starts well:
From the mythic West, with bravado-filmed landscapes, Mr. Carter, who really doesn't want to fight Apache Indians (!), is thrown very mystically to Mars, where another, mythic narrative begins ...
- No, unfortunately it does not.

Taylor Kitsch looking at ... no-one knows. In Andrew Stanton's John Carter

Instead on Mars, a silly mash-up of Star Wars, Planet of the Apes and Transformers awaits, with overly powdered 'stars': Taylor Kitsch (Lone Survivor (2013)) and Lynn Collins (The Number 23 (2007)), who plays even less charmingly than he. And the plot is as bad; it seems like a film cut out of a target group template made to forcibly include everyone, but it instead comes out tiring, incredibly boring and about as dumb as corrugated cardboard.
Mark Strong (Zero Dark Thirty (2012)) and Dominic West (The Wire (2002-08)) play deadly boring, weirdly costumed, henna-tattooed villains. The good planet in Carter is idiotically named Helium, and the film wallows in violence, but has no sex and is supposed to be family entertainment, but is so boring it is more likely family punishment.
After the first hour, the most likable character in John Carter is the monster CGI-dog seen below, and so continues the over-long, romantic western/sci-fi action adventure:

The most likable character of Andrew Stanton's John Carter

Carter is an adaptation project that had lived in Hollywood for decades with different studios and talent involved, before it was finally made into Andrew Stanton's (Finding Nemo (2003)) debacle of a movie, his first live-action feature.
The then head of Disney, Rich Ross resigned following the movie which lost a great deal more than 100 mil. $, thus making it spectacular in one, definite way: As a flop.
Stanton is getting back to his (much more successful) roots with his next movie, the much anticipated sequel Finding Dory (2016).

Related posts:

2012 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED V]
2012 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED IV]
2012 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED III]
2012 in films - according to Film Excess 

Watch the terrible trailer for John Carter here

Budget: 250 mil. $ (+ 100 mil. $ in marketing)
Box office: 284.1 mil. $
= Big flop

What do you think of John Carter?

Blazing Sadles (1974) or, The Black Sheriff of Rock Ridge

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Gene Wilder, Cleavon Little, Madeline Kahn and Mel Brooks himself on this poster for his Blazing Saddles

Black Bart is made sheriff in Rock Ridge, and together with the man who used to be the Waco Kid, he achieves popularity among the residents and beats the evil governor.

Blazing Saddles is a really racy, full speed ahead crazy comedy/western spoof, and perhaps the best absurd-anarchistic movie ever made. Its humor is zany, crazy, low and high brow in its mix of fart jokes (the first in a major American studio movie) with racial and cultural themes. It really holds no punches, which feels liberating, because its attacks on all kinds of hypocrisy and bigotry help to break these down. Its approach and style is so different from what was normal in comedies at the time that it takes a minute to get into its eccentric groove.

Cleavon Little shines in Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles

It is all accomplished with style and class: Cleavon Little (Vanishing Point (1971)) with the vivacious, sparkling eyes is fun and hot as the sheriff, and Madeline Kahn (Young Frankenstein (1974)) is wonderful in her Marlene Dietrich-parody, with her I'm Tired song routine maybe the year's best (and funniest) movie song.
The film is one of the best by co-writer-director Mel Brooks (The Producers (1967)), who recently voiced Albert Einstein in DreamWorks' Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014).
Saddles is simply one of the funniest, best comedies of all time. Period.

Cleavon Little and his pal Gene Wilder on another poster for Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles

Watch the trailer for the film here, - and then watch the movie!

Budget: 2.6 mil. $
Box office: 119.5 mil. $
= Blockbuster

What do you think of Blazing Saddles?
Any other Cleavon Little-performances that you remember?
Or similarly zany, hilarious comedies?

The Last Stand (2013) - Arnold's entertaining action comeback

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+ Best Comeback of the Year: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger defends the home front with Johnny Knoxville at his side on this humorous poster for Kim Jee-Woon's The Last Stand

The boss of a Mexican drug cartel escapes during a prison transfer in the US and heads South through the country in a modified sports car, leaving behind him a trail of death and destruction. But to cross the border, he will have to go through the small town Sommerton Junction...

 
The Last Stand is written by Andrew Knauer (Castle Falls (2021)) and directed by great South-Korean filmmaker Jee-woon Kim (Choyonghan kajok (1998)).

Despite a weak FBI-centered sub-plot led by the talented Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland (2006)), The Last Stand works outstandingly as Arnold Schwarzenegger's  (Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)) return to the big screen after his years as governor of California in his first lead since the good Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003).
The film offers lots of fun as puns on western movie mythology and the lone gunman-cliché abound. It has all the self-irony that the comeback of the now 66 year-old action hero has to have. And which has been a trademark throughout his long, unique career.
The ending of the film has a visual effect, which looks a bit grotesque, but it doesn't change the fact that The Last Stand is a pretty excellent comeback for Arnold and a solid action comedy filled with fun and excitement and a good supporting cast of whom especially Luis Guzmán (Carlito's Way (1993)) and Peter Stormare (The Big Lebowski (1998)) are amusing and effective.

 

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Kim Jee-Woon: 2013 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED VI]
2013 in films - according to Film Excess [UPDATED V]
2013 in films - according to Film Excess [UPDATED IV]
2013 in films - according to Film Excess [UPDATED III]
2013 in films - according to Film Excess [UPDATED II]  
2013 in films - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]
2013 in films - according to Film Excess  

2010 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED III]
2010 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED II]
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2010 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess

I Saw the Devil/악마를 보았다/惡魔를 보았다 (Agmareul boatda) (2010) or, Cat and Mouse - Korean Style 

 

 

Watch a trailer for the movie here

Budget: 45 mil. $
Box office: 48.3 mil. $
= Huge flop (returned 1.07 times its cost)

[The Last Stand was released 12 January (Hong Kong, USA) and runs 105 minutes. Schwarzenegger was reportedly paid 5 mil. $ + 25 % of first dollar gross, which, if it pertains to the film's world gross, would mean that it netted him just over 17 mil. $, despite flopping badly. Shooting took place from October 2011 - February 2012 in New Mexico. General Motors reportedly supplied 14 vehicles for the film, getting two of them back in good shape after the shoot. The film opened #9 to a 6.2 mil. $ first weekend in North America where it stalled from then, grossing 12 mil. $ (24.8 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were China with 7.7 mil. $ (15.9 %) and Japan with 2.8 mil. $ (5.8 %). Kim returned with One Perfect Day (2013, video), The X (2013, short) and theatrically with The Age of Shadows/Mil-jeong (2016). Schwarzenegger returned in Escape Plan (2013); Johnny Knoxville (Nature Calls (2012)) in Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (2013). The Last Stand is fresh at 61 % with a 5.70/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

 

What do you think of The Last Stand?