The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014) - Jackson's Tolkien engagement ends on a note of cinematic ruin

♥

 

+ Worst Movie of the Year

+ Most Undeserved Hit of the Year 

 

A plethora of fantastical characters and dramatic vistas meets the eye on this poster for Peter Jackson's The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

The dragon Smaug is exterminated, and its enormous gold treasure leads to strife and a resulting gigantic battle.

 

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is written by Philippa Boyens (The Lovely Bones (2009)), Guillermo del Toro (Crimson Peak (2015)), co-writer/co-producer Fran Walsh (King Kong (2005)) and New Zealander master filmmaker, co-writer/co-producer/director Peter Jackson (Bad Taste (1987)), adapting The Hobbit (1937) by J.R.R. Tolkien (The Silmarillion (1977)). It is Jackson's 13th feature and the 3rd and last in his Hobbit trilogy.

The last Hobbit most of the time looks, just like its two high frame rate predecessors, like a long, dubious video sequence from a computer game rather than the immersive, 'real' adventure feel of Jackson's great The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001; 2002; 2003).

Countless hairy, ugly, British-speaking dwarfs and other characters fail to ignite one's interest here, and the surreal ultra HD CG universe mostly impels one to shut the thing off or walk away. Lots of LoTR stars return in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, which only heightens its offense. It is a disaster.

 

Related posts:

Peter Jackson: 2014 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED V] 

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) - Jackson returns with overrated, artificial-looking turkey 

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) - Jackson's megalomania gives birth to the first third of an enormous fantasy whopper

The Lovely Bones (2009) - Despite qualities, Jackson's metaphysical crime drama is a wasteful jumble 
The Frighteners (1996) - FX-driven ghost comedy madness

Top 10: Best gore movies 

1992 in films - according to Film Excess 
Top 10: The best big flop movies reviewed by Film Excess to date
Braindead/Dead Alive (1992) - Jackson's best film ever is a gore classic!   
Bad Taste (1987) or, Peter Jackson's Hungry Aliens in New Zealand 

 

 

Watch a trailer for the film here

 

Cost: 250 mil. $

Box office: 962.2 mil. $

= Big hit (returned 3.84 times its cost)

[The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies premiered 1 December (London) and runs 144 minutes. Shooting took place from March 2011 - July 2012 and from May - July 2013 in New Zealand and the UK. The production reportedly gained a 41 mil. $ incentive in New Zealand. The film opened #1 to a 54.7 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it remained #1 for another 2 weekends and then spent another weekend in the top 5 (#4), grossing 255.1 mil. $ (26.5 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were China with 121.7 mil. $ (12.6 %) and the Germany with 72.4 mil. $ (7.5 %). The film was nominated for the Best Sound Editing Oscar, lost to American Sniper. It was also nominated for a BAFTA, among other honors. The film additionally made in excess of 77.9 mil. $ on the North-American home video market alone. Jackson returned with a small handful of documentary projects and is set to return theatrically with an unnamed Tintin sequel. Martin Freeman (Ode to Joy (2019)) returned in 7 TV and short credits prior to his theatrical return in Whisky Tango Foxtrot (2016). The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is rotten at 59 % with a 6.30/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

 

What do you think of The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies? 

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) - Jennings' odd Brit adaptation space romcom adventure

♥♥

 

A man and a robot have their thumbs out on a spaceship runway on this poster for Garth Jennings' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

A Brit (Martin Freeman (Carnage (2017))) named Arthur Dent flies around space looking for the meaning of life (it seems?), as he falls in love (with a very blue-eyed Zooey Deschanel (Eulogy (2004))) and gets planet-builder Slartibartfast (Bill Nighy (Stormbreaker (2006))) to recreate earth, which he accidentally destroyed.

 

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is written by Douglas Adams (Doctor Who (1979-83)) and Karey Kilpatrick (Chicken Run (2000)), based on Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy franchise, which began in 1978 as a BBC radio comedy, and directed by debuting music video artist Garth Jennings (Sing (2016)).

It starts fantastically with a sequence about the superior, planetary knowledge of dolphins and a warning to us about the impending end of the earth. Freeman is fun as the cautious über-Brit protagonist, who for some reason flies around in space.

There are good-looking Vogon suits (the alien villains of the piece) and an impressive but mostly wasted cast. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is enormously strange; an impressive, big bowl of twaddle.

 

 

Watch a trailer for the film here

 

Cost: 50 mil. $

Box office: 104.4 mil. $

= Flop (returned 2.08 times its cost)

[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy premiered 20 April (London) and runs 109 minutes. A theatrical adaptation had been in the works since the franchise's beginning in the 1970s and continued after Adams' death in 2001, with the script taking its basis in his already created ideas and characters. Shooting took place from April - August 2004 in Spain and the UK, including London and Wales. The film opened #1 to a 21.1 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it spent another weekend in the top 5 (#3) and grossed 51 mil. $ (48.9 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were the UK with 20.3 mil. $ (19.4 %) and Germany with 8.1 mil. $ (7.8 %). Roger Ebert gave the film a 2/4 star review, corresponding with this one. Jennings returned with Supergrass: Low C (2005, music video), Beck: Hell Yes (2005, music video) and theatrically with Son of Rambow (2007). Freeman returned in The Robinsons (2005, TV-series), Round About Five (2005, short) and theatrically in Confetti (2006). The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is fresh at 60 % with a 6.10/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

 

What do you think of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? 

Black Panther (2018) - Coogler strikes gold with African superhero - but could have delved into actual African problems

♥♥♥♥

+ Most Overrated Movie of the Year

Ensconced in dark-blue metallic, futuristic designs, this poster for Ryan Coogler's Black Panther highlights the film's main characters

The African nation of Wakanda, who enjoy a secluded life in technological bliss due to their natural resource, vibranium, has a new, kind monarch in T'Challa. But the kingdom is shaken, when a stranger emerges to claim the throne.

Black Panther is the 18th Marvel Cinematic Universe film and the first in what is destined to become its own franchise within the franchise. It is written by Joe Robert Cole (Amber Lake (2011)) and great Californian co-writer-director Ryan Coogler (Creed (2015)), whose third picture this is, based on the Marvel comics by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.
Chadwick Boseman (Persons Unknown (2010), TV-series) has the timbre and soft, sensitive eyes that make him ideal for the title character. Martin Freeman (Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (2016)) as a CIA operative and especially Andy Serkis (King Kong (2005)) as a wild-man villain are good, the film's only Caucasian characters. Everyone else is African-American, making this tentpole stand out and feel a bit like an inverted huge movie, since it is most often the ethnic minorities who find themselves with just two smaller roles.
SPOILER Serkis is killed off, which is a bit of a shame since he's so damn electric and enjoyable to watch; but he is, and it is to open up for Black Panther's main villain, played by Michael B. Jordan (Fantastic Four (2015)), who is certainly the sexiest villain in recent memory here. The two lead opponents naturally fight, but the film's more thrilling fight scenes are the ones with its female characters: Lupita Nyong'o (12 Years a Slave (2013)), Danai Gurira (Restless City (2011)) and especially Letitia Wright (Cucumber (2015), TV-series) (who is actually from Guyana) make the younger women characters come to vivid and enjoyable life here.
The film benefits from a cool score by Ludwig Göransson (Central Intelligence (2016)) who traveled to Senegal and South Africa and recorded musicians for it.
There's an it-vibe and enormous hype surrounding Black Panther at the moment, especially in North America, where it may almost seem like the film is going to cure cancer and end all wars. So groundbreaking is its reversal of the ethnic representations over there, and some of this hyperbole is not just bordering on ridiculous but just plain ridiculous.
The excitement for Black Panther is palpable, but the film talks especially to the African-American audience and their feelings and frustrations, not least in the Jordan character's motivations for his plan of an essentially militaristic revenge campaign on the Western world for its past misdeeds in Africa. - The film's connection to the actual African peoples and their plights now and in the past are far more elusive:
- In the film's first act, some of the young women around T'Challa want Wakanda to start helping refugees in their region. - Despite Wakanda's overwhelmingly developed situation, helping their neighboring African nations with issues of refugees and devastating famine, as has killed millions for the past century, apparently hasn't been on the radar until now that we meet them today.
- Issues of Africa's unique wildlife and its extinction from poaching, pollution and overpopulation is also non-existing in Black Panther, SPOILER in which the only wildlife we meet are rhinos that help one of Wakanda's tribes in battle and well-behaved obey the sound of their whistles.
In this way Black Panther is still a standard action-adventure film for the urbanized Western ex-African (and everyone else) more so than the actual peoples of Africa, whose problems it largely neglects, (and who are also not likely to beat up the film's gross, a pivotal point for a film as expensive as this.) So Black Panther is best enjoyed without thinking too much about the actual realities of Africa, which, however, is a relevant criticism of this particular film. - We can always hope the sequel dares a bolder relevance.
The film is also overlong. But it undeniably has thrilling sequences, a good story and a tempting freshness and sense of idealism about it: SPOILER For instance; what other superhero tentpole ends with the enthusiastic planning of opening an outreach center?

Related posts:

Ryan Coogler: 2018 in films - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]
2018 in films - according to Film Excess
Fruitvale Station (2013) - Well-meaning issue drama heightened by stars Michael B. Jordan and Octavia Spencer

Watch an IMAX trailer for the film here

Cost: 200 mil. $
Box office: 520 mil. $ and counting
= Too early to say (but already a box office success)
[Black Panther premiered 29 January (Los Angeles) and runs 134 minutes. Wesley Snipes was aiming to star in a Black Panther film from 1992 on, but the project never materialized. Marvel approached Ava DuVernay to direct the film, but she exited as she found they did not "see eye to eye" about the film. Shooting took place in Argentina, South Korea, South Africa, Uganda, Zambia and Georgia, including Atlanta, from January - April 2017. The film is released in 3D, IMAX and 2D formats and opened #1 with a 202 mil. $ first weekend and a record-breaking 242.1 mil. $ over the full 4-day Presidents' Day weekend, the 2nd best 4-day opening ever, trailing Star Wars: The Force Awakens' (2015) 288 mil. $. Black Panther is likely to end up as one of the top-grossing films of the year. It opens in Russia 26 Feb., Japan 1 Mar. and China 9 Mar., its last announced market. Boseman returns in Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Marvel's next blockbuster. Coogler returns with Wrong Answer, again starring Jordan, and is also in talks for a Black Panther sequel. Black Panther is certified fresh at 97 % with an 8.2 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

What do you think of Black Panther?