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3/19/2022

Hell Ride (2008) - Cinematic biker cow manure

[ZERO]

 

+ 2nd Worst Movie of the Year

 

A crowded, comic-book style, pulpy, warm-colored poster for Larry Bishop's Hell Ride

Two motorcycle gangs, an ugly 1970s history between them, unrestrained Neanderthal-level testosterone, bikes and gazongas.

 

Hell Ride is written, co-produced and directed by Larry Bishop (Mad Dog Time (1996)), who also co-stars in it as Johnny 'Pistolero' of the Victors M.C. gang.

There's nothing here to redeem this hellish bike ride, which is dreadful within the first 5 to 10 minutes. It leaps helplessly in time with ugly presentations of its mannered, empty vessel 'characters'. Meaningless violence and no noticeable story wears on one's patience. Instead Hell Ride is like a distillation of all the crappy elements of the bygone motorcycle subgenre, which it attempts to be an homage to.

Regrettably Hell Ride is talentless to the bone; an ugly, smelly coat with no hanger or shape, and a peripheral blemish on the image of executive producer Quentin Tarantino (Jackie Brown (1997)), who was instrumental in getting it made.

 

Related post:

 

2008 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED III] 

 





Watch a 3-minute video from the film's Sundance premiere here

 

Cost: Unknown

Box office: 390k $

= Uncertain, but probably a mega-flop (projected return of 0.26 times its cost)

[Hell Ride premiered 21 January (Sundance Film Festival) and runs 83 minutes. Shooting took place around April 2007 in California, including in Los Angeles. The film opened #35 to a 100k $ first weekend in 82 theaters in North America, where it declined from there, grossing 213k $ (54.6 % of the total gross). The only other recorded gross comes from Japan (176k $ (45.1 % of the total gross)); but the film was also released in South Korea and Slovenia. The-numbers.com assert that the film also made 2 mil. $ on North-American video sales. If made on a likely 1.5 mil. $ budget, the film would rank as a mega-flop with a return of 0.26 times its cost. Roger Ebert gave the film a 1/4 star review, translating to a notch over this one. Bishop hasn't directed since; he has racked up 3 dubious acting credits however; the first one in Forgotten Pills (2010). Hell Ride is rotten at 10 % with a 3.50/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]


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