Freddy vs. Jason (2003) - Trashy franchise mash-up, best avoided

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+ 3rd Worst Movie of the Year

+ Most Undeserved Hit of the Year 

The titular horror super-villains meet like boxers on this dark poster for Ronny Yu's Freddy vs. Jason

Nightmare killer, scissor-handed Freddy Krueger is going extinct due to becoming forgotten, but with the assistance of hockey-masked Crystal Lake camp-killer Jason Vorhees, he is able to make another bloody return, - until the two become enemies.

Freddy vs. Jason is written by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift (Baywatch (2017), both) and directed by Ronny Yu (Cheung laap cheing ngoi (1979)). It is the 8th film in the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise (1984-) of Freddy Krueger and the 11th in the Friday the 13th franchise (1980-) that gave rise to Jason Vorhees.
The plot summary above is about as much of a coherent story as one gets from this taxing ordeal of a film, which spends its time stomping around worn-out territory with the eagerness of a turkey on speed. The filmmakers try to compensate for the lack of substance or an exciting premise by stocking just about every second of it with special effects, which do divert a bit.
One almost pities the actors, who put their necks out for Freddy vs. Jason, but it should be remembered that it must have been wholly obvious from the script that this truly is trash. The point of Freddy vs. Jason is solely to milk another healthy gross out of two languishing franchise cows. Ugh!

Related posts:

Friday the 13th franchise: Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981) - Miner debuts with solid if formulaic first sequel
Friday the 13th (1980) - Cunningham scores with simple but effective teen killer recipe 
Nightmare on Elm Street franchise: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) - Another terrible remake of a horror classic 
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) or, Your Kids and the Bastard Son of 100 Maniacs!
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) or, Don't Fall Asleep!
Ronny Yu: 2003 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED II] 

2003 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]

The 51st State (2001) or, US/UK, Drugs and Shooting
Bride of Chucky (1998) - Bizarre puppet slasher black comedy 

Watch a super-hammy teaser for the film here

Cost: 30 mil. $
Box office: 114.9 mil. $
= Big hit (returned 3.83 times its gross)
[Freddy vs. Jason premiered 13 August (USA) and runs 98 minutes. A cross-over film had been in talks since 1987 but lay dormant for various reasons. Only after the flop of Jason X (2001) did the properties align. Yu decided to recast Jason, letting the film be the first Friday the 13th film without Kane Hodder as Jason. Ken Kirzinger (The Blackburn Asylum (2015)), the new Jason, is a bit taller and also lived in Canada, saving the production flight and hotel bills for him. Robert Englund (Wish You Were Dead (2001)) returned for one last time as Freddy. Shooting took place in British Columbia, including Vancouver, in Toronto, Ontario and in California from September - November 2002. The film opened #1 to a 36.4 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it retained the spot for a second week before leaving the top 5, grossing 82.6 mil. $ (71.9 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were the UK with 4.4 mil. $ (3.8 %) and Japan with 3.7 mil. $ (3.2 %). It was the highest-grossing in the Friday the 13th franchise, and the 2nd highest-grossing in the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. They were subsequently rebooted with Friday the 13th (2009) and A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010). Yu returned with Fearless (2006). Englund returned in As A Bad Dream (2003); Kirzinger in 6 TV credits prior to his theatrical return in Hot Rod (2006). Freddy vs. Jason is rotten at 41 % with a 4.85/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

What do you think of Freddy vs. Jason?

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943) - Universal's first monster bash is low on frights but entertains

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This exciting poster in splashy colors for Roy William Neill's Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man promises monstrous action and a scantily clad blond

The Wolf Man is awoken to life by graverobbers and flees from England to the village of Vasaria, where Dr. Frankenstein's notes are supposed to help him finally die. - But instead Frankenstein's horrific monster is also reawoken! 

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man is written by Curt Siodmak (Riders to the Stars (1954)) and directed by Roy William Neill (Hoots Mon (1940)). It is the 5th film in the Frankenstein franchise and the first sequel to George Waggner's great The Wolf Man (1941). It is the first of Universal's 'monster mash' horrors in which established characters meet each other.
The film isn't scary to me: The bizarro monsters were eerie on their own, but when their universes are welded together, the result is almost comical.
Siodmak's script saves the film, along with Lon Chaney Jr.'s (Dracula vs. Frankenstein (1971)) portrayal of the Wolf Man, Lawrence Talbot. Siodmak establishes an adventure-like pace in the rather short feature and works in themes of anxiety of insanity and village lynch mob mentality. SPOILER An exploded dam ends up washing the monsters away in a tidal wave of Biblical proportions.

Listen to 13 minutes of Hans J. Salter's score for the film here

Cost: Unknown
Box office: Unknown
= Uncertain - but likely a box office success
[Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man was released 5 March (USA) and runs 74 minutes. Siodmak came up with the concept, because he needed a new car. Bela Lugosi had turned down playing the monster in the original Frankenstein (1931), thinking it unfit for his sudden stardom after Dracula (1931). He took the job to portray the monster 12 years later here after having played the monster's twisted companion Ygor in Son of Frankenstein (1939) and The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942), in which Ygor's brain is implanted into the monster. Shooting took place at Universal in Los Angeles. Siodmak's script had the monster talking, but test audiences reacted poorly to Lugosi's talking Frankenstein, and so this element was cut. Details on the cost and box office performance of the film are not available online, - but based on the continued stream of similar titles from Universal and the general drought of horror titles in period, the film was likely theatrically successful. Both the Frankenstein monster and the Wolf Man returned in House of Frankenstein (1944). Neill returned with Sherlock Holmes in Washington (1943). Ilona Massey returned in Holiday in Mexico (1946), Patrick Knowles in Hit the Ice (1943) and Lon Chaney Jr. in What We Are Fighting For (1943, short) and Frontier Badmen (1943). Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man is rotten at 25 % with a 5/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

What do you think of Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man?

Alien vs. Predator/AVP (2004) - No one wins with Anderson's fundamentally bad monster clash

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+ Most Undeserved Hit of the Year

The titular movie monsters of Paul W.S. Anderson's Alien vs. Predator come together on the poster with the film's seemingly accidentally honest tagline, - which makes it clear that audiences are in for a loss

Alien vs. Predator is an uninteresting spin-off, based on a 1989 comic book, which merges the two great alien-centered franchises, Alien and Predator.

Far below the Antarctica lies a pyramid, which some scientist types somehow awaken to life, and an intergalactic war between two extraterrestrial monster species takes form.

Whatever Lance Henriksen (Dark Awakening (2014)) is doing in this movie, I don't know; he played the robot Bishop in Aliens (1986) beautifully, - here he's another character in the plot set some 150 years before that movie takes place, who then supposedly later becomes the model for the future robot...
Building suspense, or creating engaging, full characters and/or scenes have either not been a priority for the three-person script team behind Alien vs. Predator, or they have just totally failed in their attempts. The responsible are Dan O'Bannon (Alien (1979)), Ronald Shusett (Total Recall (1990)), who both supplied story elements, and writer/director Paul W. S. Anderson (Resident Evil (2002)). Why the first two writers have felt obligated or enticed to do this to their fine, initial work in the Alien franchise is beyond me. Anderson, on the other hand, is a juggernaut of pointless action shlock such as this and seems permanently out of reach.
Alien vs. Predator is big and noisy, and that's about all you will remember from it just a few hours after having seen it. Take my advice: Try and avoid it.

Related posts:

2004 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]
The Alien franchise: Prometheus (2012) or, Even Then, Space Eggs Were Bad News
Alien: Resurrection (1997) or, Queen of the Goo Massacre! 
Alien 3 (1992) or, The Monsters Go to Jail!
Aliens (1986) or, Alien War
Alien (1979) or, Space Eggs Are Bad News!   
The Predator franchise: Predators (2010) - Antal, Rodriguez and Brody successfully take the sci-fi-action franchise back

Watch a short 'chest-burster' scene from the film here

Cost: 60 mil. $
Box office: 172.5 mil. $
= Box office success (returned 2.87 times its cost)
[Alien vs. Predator premiered 12 August (Puerto Rico and Thailand) and runs 101 minutes. The two central Alien master filmmakers, Ridley Scott (Alien) and James Cameron (Aliens (1986)) were both opposed to the film, however Cameron has later stated that he "liked it a lot." The story was set about 150 years before the first Alien (1979) and after Predator (1987), designed not to clash with anything already established in the franchises. Shooting took place in Italy, France and in Prague, the Czech Republic from October 2003 - ?. No less than 10 production companies were involved in the production. The film opened #1 to a 38.2 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it spent another week in the top 5 (#4) and grossed a handsome 80.2 mil. $ (46.5 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were Japan with 16.1 mil. $ (9.3 %) and the UK with 9.3 mil. $ (5.4 %). An even worse sequel, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007) was made. The Predator franchise was rebooted with Predators (2010), and the Alien franchise had its next real chapter in Prometheus (2012). Anderson returned with Drift (2006, TV movie) and theatrically with Death Race (2008). Sanaa Lathan (Repentance (2013)) returned in The Golden Blaze (2005, video) and theatrically in Something New (2006); Raoul Bova (Ever Been to the Moon?/Sei Mai Stata Sulla Luna? (2015)) in Giovani Talenti Italiani (2004, video), Karol: A Man Who Became Pope/Karol, un Uomo Diventato Papa (2005, TV movie) and theatrically in I'll Do It Tonight/Stasera lo Faccio (2005); Henriksen in Keep Right (2004, short) and theatrically in Modigliani (2004). Alien vs. Predator is rotten at 21 % with a 4.06/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

What do you think of Alien vs. Predator?