Rapid Exchange (2003, video) - Staid heist action attempt - will bore you

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+ Worst Movie of the Year

Dramatic coloring and another title adorns this promising if innocuous poster for Tripp Reed's Rapid Exchange

A group of professional thieves gather around a difficult but potentially very lucrative assignment: They want to rob a Boeing 747 mid-air, which carries means from the US Treasury Department.

Rapid Exchange is written by Sam Wells (Boa vs. Python (2004, video)) and co-writer/director Tripp Reed (Pretty Little Liars (2014-15)).
The problem here is that Rapid Exchange looks like a cheap straight-to-video or TV movie, (which it is), and that there is nothing in its content to weigh up for this fault. The qualities it arguably has are paper thin at best, and Lance Henriksen (Harbinger Down (2015)) as the flick's only real star brings it nothing substantial.
Rapid Exchange gives an inkling of the kind of light, humorous heist picture that it sought to be, but neither its narrative nor its execution makes this attempt stick. It is a drowsy, unrewarding couch potato time.

 

Related posts:

 

2003 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED II] 

2003 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]

Watch a trailer for the film here

Cost: Unknown
Box office: Unknown
= Uncertain
[Rapid Exchange was released direct-to-video 13 May (USA) and runs 97 minutes. Shooting took place in Sofia, Bulgaria. Reed returned with Manticore (2005, TV movie). Regrettably, nothing is reported of its cost or gross; its production company Jet Productions LLC has only this release to its credit, - but that doesn't necessarily mean that the film didn't make money. Henriksen returned in Dream Warrior (2003); Lorenzo Lamas (Invasion America (1998, TV-series)) in 13 Dead Men (2003). 440 IMDb users have given Rapid Exchange a 4.6/10 average rating.]

What do you think of Rapid Exchange?

From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999) - Spiegel's vampire heist disappoints

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A red-tinted, murky, dusk-like darkness hangs over this poster for Scott Spiegel's From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money

A gang of criminals plan to rob a bank in Mexico but before they get to it, they are attacked by some blood-hungering bats that carry a frightening virus.

From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money is written by Duane Whitaker (Stripteaser (1995)) and co-writer-director Scott Spiegel (Intruder (1989)), with Boaz Yakin (Max (2015)) contributing story elements, as the sequel to Robert Rodriguez's From Dusk Till Dawn (1996). It is something as rare as a vampire heist movie, which lends it a certain 'fun-to-watch' quality.
But although Spiegel's direction has clear Tarantino ambitions, (Quentin Tarantino stars in and co-wrote the original film with pal Rodriguez and executive produced this pic), it lacks finesse: Exaggerated action and unfortunate effects mar Texas Blood Money, which also is bogged down by a sorely unengaged lead performance from Robert Patrick (True Blood (2012-14)). After the exhilarating original film, the earth-bound failure of this sequel is a shame.

Related posts:

Scott Spiegel: Hostel: Part III (2011) - Spiegel ends Roth's beloved gore franchise  

1999 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess 
Evil Dead II/Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987) - Campbell, Spiegel and Raimi's crazy, gory classic (co-writer)
From Dusk Till Dawn franchise: From Dusk till Dawn (1996) - Tarantino, Rodriguez and chums' enjoyable Mexico vampire extravaganza

Listen to an interview with Spiegel here

Cost: 5 mil. $
Box office: Unknown (mainly a direct-to-video release domestically and in many other markets)
= Uncertain (but likely successful commercially)
[From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money premiered 16 March (USA) and runs 85  minutes. Shooting took place in South Africa. The film was reportedly intended to be a test venture for Dimension Films of the direct-to-video market, but it was also theatrically released in several markets. The film's gross and video sales are not immediately available online, but there is a good chance the film was successful. Another sequel followed, P.J. Pesce's From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter. Later came From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series (2014-16). Spiegel eventually returned to directing with My Name Is Modesty: A Modesty Blaise Adventure (2004). Patrick returned in The Vivero Letter (1999). From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money is rotten at 9 % with a 2.7/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]

What do you think of From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money?

The Experiment (2010, video) - Flawed, tense, unpleasant, mysterious

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The mysterious poster for Paul Sheuring's The Experiment

A significant group of men are promised big checks if they participate in a prison experiment, which, however, within few days escalate without any of the scientists interfering.

The Experiment tells a scary story, inspired by the real Stanford prison experiment of 1971, which is well-acted and well-made with a few, important exceptions: We know as audiences that we are watching something based on a real event. But for a long time in the film, I wasn't sure if it was set in the 1970s or today, which is fatal for a film of this kind. The Experiment also loses quite a bit of its opportunity to surprise by showing violent animal and human footage during the opening credits. This lets us know exactly where we are heading right off the bat, - another pretty poor choice on the part of the filmmakers.
The Experiment is a remake of the successful German film Das Experiment (2001) by writer-director Paul Scheuring (36K (2000)). It is a rather unpleasant film.

Watch a clip from the film here, described as 'the infamous toilet scene'

Cost: 21.8-25 mil. $
Box office: Unknown
= Unknown (but certainly a mega-flop)
[The Experiment premiered July 15 (South Korea) and runs 96 minutes. It was shot in and around July 2009. Elijah Wood was originally cast but bowed out of the production after a few days. SPOILER The real Stanford prison experiment was quite different and less dramatic than the depiction in the film. Its production and release is shrouded in mystery with little known about it and the big question being why it was dumped straight-to-DVD in North America and almost every other market globally. Especially for a relatively expensive film, this is curious. 41,261 IMDb users have given the film a 6.4/10 average rating.]

What do you think of The Experiment?
If you know any details about its troubled production and/or release, please contribute in a comment

Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005, video) - Quality-bereft, exploitative zombie trash

[ZERO]

+ Worst Movie of the Year

This poster for Ana Clavell and James Glenn Dudelson's Day of the Dead 2: Contagium tries to rip off the style of the poster for George A. Romero's original, great Day of the Dead (1985)

QUICK REVIEW:

The zombie virus comes to America from Russia. Decades later, some lunatics find a thermos with the disease and bring it back to their asylum.

This is filmmaking at its least pretty. The idea is bad, although not necessarily horrendous. Unfortunately this entire movie is carried through completely deprived of simple logic and talent. Everything is wrong with Day of the Dead 2: Contagium. And let me make it absolutely clear; this production has nothing to do with George A. Romero, his great Day of the Dead (1984) or his entire Dead franchise. Contagium is a name-only attempt to ride on the back of an existing success to make a buck.
The movie is over-lit, full of annoying shaky-cam, head-scratchingly poorly written, without any charm, gross in the uncool way, full of bad effects and even worse acting. Nothing is okay about Day of the Dead 2: Contagium.
The film is directed by Ana Clavell (Chick Street Fighter (2003)) and James Glenn Dudelson (Lesson of the Assassin (2000)) and written by Clavell and Ryan Carrassi (The Pool 2 (2005)).
In short: avoid this film!

 

Related posts:

 

The 2000s in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess

2005 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]  

Because no material concerning the film is available on Youtube, here instead is Beethoven's Silence, (which is undoubtedly a lot better anyway)

Cost: 1 mil. $
Box office: None (straight-to-DVD)
= Unknown
[Contagium was shot in LA in April 2004. A 10-minute promo reel was shown and was badly received at the 2004 Fantasia International Film Festival. The film screened at London FrightFest Film Festival. It has no Tomatometer score, but nearly 3,000 IMDb users have awarded it a 2.2/10 rating there, - bottom of the barrel for sure.]

What do you think of Day of the Dead 2: Contagium?
Other exploitative horror or other genre films that must be avoided, in your opinion?

Hostel: Part III (2011, video) - Spiegel ends Roth's beloved gore franchise

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The poster for Scott Spiegel's Hostel: Part III looks like a cheap rehash of the posters for the first two films

Four unsympathetic young men are en route to Las Vegas for a bachelor party. Once there they go to a party way off the Strip, where one of them disappears.

Far into Hostel 3, I was in. - The characters of Eli Roth's (Cabin Fever (2002)) first two films (2005 and 2007) aren't angels as well, - but then at some point I realized that I had not even a mild liking for any of the guys here, and that the film's focus seemed to flap around between them, seemingly unclear about who of them was leading the narrative ahead. Michael D. Weiss (Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)) has written the script, 'based on Roth's characters', (although there doesn't seem to be any characters from the first two films in this one.) It is directed by a producer on the first two films, Scott Spiegel (From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999)), and Roth was not involved in making it.
When Kip Pardue (The Rules of Attraction (2002)), who plays the ultra-douche, SPOILER begins to fight his friend, the film becomes involuntarily funny, because things simply get too ridiculous. And although Thomas Kretschmann (Valkyrie (2008)) is in this one, he never really becomes a very good villain unfortunately.
Hostel 3 is still a fairly large production SPOILER with cockroach-, face-ripping- and Japanese cyberpunk/crossbow-kills and an intro scene, which cleverly turns the franchise from its Eastern Europe setting to the Americans home scene. But when it's over, a fan of the first two films will almost certainly feel pretty disappointed. The Hostel franchise provisionally dies here.

Related posts:
 
2011 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED III] 
2011 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED II]
2011 in films - according to Film Excess
 

Here are the four schmucks that are in for some cultural punishment in Scott Spiegel's Hostel: Part III

Watch the trailer for the movie here

Cost: 6 mil. $
Box office: None - released straight-to-DVD and VoD
= Uncertainty
[But almost certainly a huge flop. - However, since DVD sales and VoD revenue have not been publicized, I can't know for sure. Hostel 3 is the first of the Hostel films to go straight-to-DVD. The release was meant to be followed by a viral marketing campaign, which was canceled, when the film got bad test screenings.]

What do you think of Hostel: Part III?

Cleaner (2008, video) or, Suit-Wearing Papa Cleaner-Man!

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One of the dark posters for Renny Harlin's Cleaner

QUICK REVIEW:

An ex-cop runs a cleaning company, which specializes in cleaning after deaths. He now takes an assignment to clean up after a murder that makes him start his own private investigation. - But his own past isn't spotless either ...

The excellent cast of Samuel L. Jackson (Django Unchained (2012)), Robert Forster (Jackie Brown (1997)), Ed Harris (A History of Violence (2005)), Eva Mendes (The Place Beyond the Pines (2012)) and Luis Guzmán (The Last Stand (2013)) make this mediocre story worth seeing.
It is directed by Finnish Hollywood director Renny Harlin (Deep Blue Sea (1999)) and written by Matthew Aldrich (El Patron (2016), pre-production). Some of Harlin's flash-editing ploys hit home, and others seem ridiculous.
Cleaner seems like commissioned work without any particular heart or engagement behind its storytelling, (which is a recurring problem for Harlin, whose career counts several films with similar issues.)
The ending SPOILER has a forced narration with lots of heavy-duty value concepts overlain, which Cleaner as a film just can't hold.
Harlin is premiering an ambitious new film later this year, Skiptrace with Jackie Chan and Johnny Knoxville, which I am sure it is hoped can become a cross-cultural (US-Chinese) smash.

Related posts:

2008 in films - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]
2008 in films - according to Film Excess

Watch the trailer for the DVD release here

Cost: Estimated 25 mil. $
Box office: 4 mil. $ (foreign)
= Mega-flop
[Cleaner was released straight-to-DVD in the US, where it sold 400k units, accruing 7.8 mil. $ to the financial shipwreck the movie became. Harlin's career has suffered, and he has had to get by doing b-movies and TV since. Skiptrace is the major movie that has to prove his worth in the new Hollywood order, or perhaps cast him out for good.]

What do you think of Cleaner?
Any thoughts on Harlin's career?

Are You Scared? (2006, video) - An awful hororr rip-off time-waster

[ZERO]

+ Worst Movie of the Year

A woman is caught behind a metal mask in mortal agony on this grim DVD cover for Andy Hurst's Are You Scared ?

Some people get locked inside a shady building, where they are told that they are participants of a reality show. But the 'producer' takes their lives in sadistic ways. He turns out to be one of the girls' disfigured, demented father.

Are You Scared? is written and directed by Andy Hurst (You're Dead... (1999)). It is a teenage-oriented horror movie that's a shameless rip-off of James Wan's great Saw (2004), so ineptly done that it should have resulted in a lawsuit. Also Eli Roth's Hostel (2005; 07) movies are aped, but the Are You Scared? creators seem totally unaware of what make these or any other horror movies great.
Are You Scared? is utterly bereft of charm: It is awfully acted, edited, lit. - Its digital photography proves how bad the new technology can look. Hurst is responsible for this trash; he has also directed straight-to-DVD titles like Diary of a Serial Killer (2008) and written scripts for such titles as Single White Female 2: The Psycho (2005, video).
Are You Scared only lasts 79 minutes but is still a gigantic crap of a movie.

Related posts:

2006 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED III]

2006 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED II]

The 2000s in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess

2006 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]

Listen to Charlie Clouser's iconic Saw theme from the great 2004 movie here and forget all about Are You Scared?

Cost: Unknown
Box office: Unknown
= Unknown
[Are You Scared? was released 12 September (USA), seemingly straight-to-DVD, although details are extremely scarce, and runs 79 minutes. Shooting took place in Los Angeles. Hurst returned with Diary of a Serial Killer (2008, video). An unrelated sequel, Are You Scared 2, was released in 2009. 12,695 Rotten Tomatoes users have given Are You Scared? a 2.7/5 average rating.]

What do you think of Are You Scared??

2001: A Space Travesty (2000, video) - Nielsen and Goldstein's sci-fi spoof flop

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The undeniably silly-looking but also worryingly inept poster for Allan A. Goldstein's 2001: A Space Travesty

A clone of Bill Clinton has taken over the governing of the United States of America, and agent Dick Dix has to solve this by bringing back the real Clinton from his imprisonment on the Moon.

Travesty has little to do with Stanley Kubrick's (The Shining (1980)) science fiction classic 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), which the title parodies, and it is populated with b-actors in c- and d-material, incomprehensible gags and embarrassing 'comedy'. The only remedy in the SF spoof/farce is Leslie Nielsen (Airplane! (1980)), the wonderful Danish/Welsh/Canadian actor turned comedian.
Brooklyn-born director Allan A. Goldstein (Death Wish V: The Face of Death (1994)) is a fringe director if there ever was one.The film is scripted (poorly) by Italian Vince Di Clemente (The Lost World (1998), additional dialogue) and Alan Shearman (The Shrimp on the Barbie (1990)).
2001: A Space Travesty is not worth writing home about. A film mostly for Nielsen completists.

Related posts:

Mentioned film: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) or, Humanity and Space

Watch Leslie Nielsen enter space in this 4-minute clip from the film

Cost: Estimated 26-45 mil. $
Box office: Unknown
= Unknown (likely a mega-flop)
[2001: A Space Travesty premiered 31 October (Tokyo, Japan) and runs 99 minutes. It was shot from July - September 1999. It wasn't released theatrically in many countries, including the US, where it was rolled out direct-to-video. Nielsen himself allegedly called his experience on the film, "the worst experience I have ever had." The film must have been a huge commercial bomb as well, although without any numbers, it is impossible to say just how big of a flop it really was. Goldstein returned with One Way Out (2002, video) and theatrically with Pact with the Devil (2004). Nielsen returned in The Wonderful World of Disney (2000, TV-series), Pumper Pups (2000, TV-series) and theatrically in Camouflage (2001). 10,797 Rotten Tomatoes users have given 2001: A Space Travesty an average rating of 2.2/5.]

What do you think of 2001: A Space Travesty?