Creepshow (1982) - Fun, campy horror anthology from King and Romero

♥♥♥♥

The morbidly festive poster for George A. Romero's Creepshow

QUICK REVIEW:

With a framing story about a voodoo-practicing boy, whose father throws his Creepshow comic out, 5 ghoulish stories are served: SPOILER About a living corpse, who wants his cake; a meteor, which transforms a fool into a Plant Man; a jealous millionaire, who favors monitored drowning; a monster from the North Pole in a crate; and finally one about a neurotic city magnate with a bug problem ...

- Particularly this last story is a true nightmare for all of us who can't stand tingling insects, (in this case cockroaches.) 
Creepshow is an anthology horror movie homage to 1950's horror comic, written by horror maestro Stephen King (Christine (1983)) and directed by master horror director George A. Romero (Dawn of the Dead (1978)). Its stories are deliberately corny and sensationalist with some holes here and there.
The film boasts several stars: Hal Holbrook (Into the Wild (2007)), Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)), Ted Danson (Cheers (1982-93)), King gives a highly physical performance as the fool, and E. G. Marshall (Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970)) amuses as the unlucky magnate in the final story, which also showcases Romero's keen satirical talent.
The lighting throughout is refreshingly high-key Bavaesque, the animations are cool, and Tom Savini's (Martin (1976)) special effects are somewhat crude but effective. The film is a joy (especially for a horror-fan.)

Related reviews:

George A. Romero: Dawn of the Dead (1978) or, Mall of Death!

Watch the awesome original trailer here

Cost: 8 mil. $
Box office: 21 mil. $ (US only)
= Box office success
[The film is labeled a sleeper hit. Including other territories (which I can't find numbers for, except that nearly 350,000 people paid admission in Spain) and video, TV and merchandise, Creepshow must surely have been a great source of income for Warner Bros. It took First Blood's #1 spot at the US box office and was Warner's top horror film of the year. It got one official sequel in 1987 and a direct-to-DVD unrelated sequel in 2007.]

What do you think of Creepshow?
Other horror anthologies that you like or dislike?

Pet Sematary (1989) - Stephen King's awful horror turkey

♥

A grisly ghoul and an eerie cemetery on the poster for Mary Lambert's Pet Sematary

Pet Sematary [I can find no reason for the misspelling of 'cemetery' in the title] is an adaptation of Stephen King's 1983 novel. It is the first adaptation that he wrote the screenplay for himself, and he has stated himself that Pet Sematary is the only one of his novels that he finds scary personally.
The story is about a family that are moving into a house in Maine, when tragedy strikes: First, SPOILER their cat dies, and later, their baby son. They live close to an Indian burying ground (of course), where supernatural powers dictate that the buried don't stay buried.
I love King and wild 80's horror movies, (wild horror movies in general, really), but Pet Sematary is just a really poor movie, for numerous reasons:
First of all, the casting is very poor, and the no-name actors in the film are in this case no-name actors for a reason. The husband and wife, played by Dale Midkiff and Denise Crosby, do not match each other; although the actors are only two years apart, she looks almost like she could have been his mother, and Midkiff, who is the lead in the film, really can't act. I never once bought that he was married to her, or that he was the father of those kids. Bruce Campbell (The Evil Dead (1981)) was attached to star as the husband, but for some reason didn't.
Perhaps he was onto the fact that the film was to be shot on a really terrible script, and that King, living just 20 minutes from the shoot, and being one of the most prestigious and rich writers in the world, was gonna sit heavily on the production and the following of his terrible script. He even cameos in the film as a priest. One perhaps has to get used to the fact that King has written at least this one terrible script, but if you don't believe it, just watch Pet Sematary, and you'll see; it's a fact. The film is full of utter nonsense posing as profound mythology, uninventive plot points and idiotic dialog.
It is directed by Mary Lambert (Pet Sematary II (1992)), who hasn't wrung good work from any of her actors here, the children included, who you'll mainly feel sorry for, (along with the animals), because they appear in Pet Sematary without fully consciously having agreed to do so.

The details:

The movie is surprisingly gory, and it does establish an eerie atmosphere a couple of times, mainly due to Elliott Goldenthal's (Heat (1995)) score, which may be the only thing about the film which isn't wholly inept. There are large sets that have been painstakingly constructed, it seems, but they are not filmed or exposed right, and the effect of them doesn't arrive.
Other good horror-professionals that might have ended up doing the film, - and may have made something worthwhile out of it, - are Tom Savini (Night of the Living Dead (1990)), who (wisely?) turned down directing it, and George A. Romero (Dawn of the Dead (1978)), who (luckily?) dropped out, as it was delayed.
Pet Sematary concludes with a Ramones track called Pet Sematary, which was made in honor of King, a big Ramones fan, and got nominated for a Razzie as Worst Original Song, but also became one of the band's highest charting hits. Most Ramones fans hate the song, though.

Related reviews:

Stephen King adaptations:  1408 (2007) or, The Haunted Hotel Room
The Shining (1980) - Kubrick's descend into madness is a timeless masterpiece
Carrie (1976) or, Don't Bully the Strange Girl!

Watch an original trailer - ripped from a VHS! - here

Cost: 11.5 mil. $
Box office: 57.4 mil. $ (North America only)
= Huge hit
[Sold on King's pre-existing, hard-to-beat brand, Pet Sematary lured millions to see it, and some of them even, evidently from online threads, treasure it. Its sequel Pet Sematary II (1992) stars Edward Furlong, was poorly received by critics and fell far behind Pet Sematary's success with only 17 mil. $ in domestic receipts on an 8 mil. $ budget. The franchise was thus killed off early.]

What do you think of Pet Sematary?
Other Stephen King movies that are terrible?