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From ZERO to 6 ♥s. 100% ad-free. Run on pure love for movies, documentaries and TV-series. April 2024: Countdown to: Top 10: Best heist movies - Upcoming review: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
A dark and hairy monster that attacks beautiful blondes are promised on this sensationalistic poster for Fritz Böttger's Horrors of Spider Island
A plane with dancers and their manager crashes into the sea on its way to Singapore. The group rescue themselves onto an island, where the manager gets bitten by a radioactive giant spider and becomes a blood-thirsty monster.
Horrors of Spider Island is written and directed by Fritz Böttger (Die Junggesellenfalle (1953)), with Eldon Howard (Sentenced for Life (1960, story)) and Albert G. Miller (The Spider's Web (1960)) contributing to the script. The original German title translates to, 'a corpse hung in the web'.
When the group arrive on the island their male leader finds a peculiar stick and immediately figures out that a search for uranium must have taken place here, (the girls just ask, if they can eat uranium.) The girls/women otherwise mostly distinguish themselves by moaning, dancing, fighting and loudly observing how damn hot it is on the exotic island!
The special effects and the pancake-thin characters are probably the worst parts of this decided stinker.
Here is a trailer for the movie
Cost: Unknown
Box office: Unknown
= Uncertain
[Horrors of Spider Island was released 16 April (West Germany) and runs 82 minutes. Shooting took place from October - November 1959 in Yugoslavia (now Croatia). In North America the film was released as It's Hot in Paradise in 1962 and then with more of a sci-fi/monster flavor in a longer cut in 1965 as Horrors of Spider Island. Info on the film's cost and gross numbers are regrettably not to be found. Böttger left directing alone after the film and continued to work as a screenwriter. 3.9k+ IMDb users have given Horrors of Spider Island a 2.6/10 average rating.]
Two endearing star sweethearts invite us on a journey from an autumnal landscape on this pleasant poster for Andrey Konchalovskiy's Homer and Eddie
Homer is not the brightest man, (in fact he is a little backwards), and when he heads to Oregon to see his cancer-sick father, he is robbed of all his belongings. He meets Eddie, an escaped mental patient, and the two become friends on the lam together.
Homer and Eddie is written by Patrick Cirillo (The Surgeon (1995)) and directed by great Russian filmmaker Andrey Konchalovskiy (The First Teacher/Pervyy uchitel (1965)).
The stakes are truly high in this buddy dramedy road movie, in which the lower classes of America are portrayed with an enormous, beating heart. Jim Belushi (Underdog (2007)) and Whoopi Goldberg (If I Had Known I Was a Genius (2007)) roll out as two class actors, making Homer and Eddie a pleasure, with lots of Americana music in the speakers along the journey, as beautiful America passes by outside their car windows. Belushi does verge on the overly silly at times in some of the uneasy scenes, but I am still a big fan of this under-appreciated gem.
[Homer and Eddie was released 17 August (West Germany) and runs 100 minutes. Shooting took place from January - March 1988 in Oregon and California. The AFI catalog reports that following a troubled road towards the big screens, the film was axed by critics and did poorly at the box office. There are regrettably no public numbers of its budget or gross available. Konchalovsky returned with Tango & Cash (1989). Belushi returned in Wedding Band (1989); Goldberg in Beverly Hills Brats (1989). 1.9k+ IMDb users have given Homer and Eddie a 5.3/10 average rating.]
Darkness and bestiality looms on this grim-looking poster for Lucio Fulci's The House by the Cemetery
A New York couple move to a former scientist's house in Boston, where the man is to finish up some research and make an extra buck. But a strange curse rests over the house and their babysitter!
The House by the Cemetery is written by Dardano Sacchetti (Demons/Dèmoni (1985)), Giorgio Mariuzzo (Doppio Misto (1985, TV movie)) and co-writer/director Lucio Fulci (I Ladri (1959)), with Elisa Briganti (Manhattan Baby (1982)) contributing story elements.
Aside from incredibly bloody effects, this horror hit is something of a bomb in Fulci's body of work. It is technically bad, with a confusing twist about 'children as monsters' (underscored by a Henry James quote in the end), but it falls flat due to lousy child performances. The House by the Cemetery isn't all you'd hope it would be.
= Uncertain - but almost certainly at least a box office success (returned 2.33 times its cost in Italy alone)
[The House by the Cemetery was released 14 August (Italy) and runs 86 minutes. Shooting took place from March - May 1981 in Massachusetts, including in Boston, New York and in Rome. The film was released almost uncut in Italy, where it reportedly was Fulci's most successful horror of the 1980s. In the UK the film was released with 2 minutes cut out, a release that was put on the 'video nasties' list in 1984. It was video released again in 1988 with 4 minutes now missing, and was not released uncut in the UK until 2009. There are regrettably no available information about the film's box office performances in its several other markets. Fulci returned with The New York Ripper/Lo Squartatore di New York (1982). Catriona MacColl (Saint Ange (2004)) returned in Les Amours des Années Grises (1981, TV-series)) and theatrically in Les Diplômés du dernier Rang (1982); Paolo Malco (Turbo (2001, TV-series)) in The New York Ripper. The House by the Cemetery is rotten at 45 % with a 4.50/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
+ Breakthrough Actor of the Year: Jeremy Renner+ Best Independent Movie of the Year + Best War Thriller of the Year
An explosive poster for Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker
We follow a small bomb disarmament team in their last 40 days prior to getting sent back home to the US from the Iraq War. Sergeant James is the bomb expert, who pressures himself and his comrades beyond the expected, and pays the price.
The Hurt Locker is written by Mark Boal (In the Valley of Elah (2007, story)) and directed by Californian master filmmaker Kathryn Bigelow (The Loveless (1981)) as her 8th feature.
The film is as suspenseful as the adrenaline fix that protagonist James is chasing, successfully coupling a 'war is hell' narrative with an enormously excitement-driven thriller. Jeremy Renner (28 Weeks Later (2007)) is a find in the very Tom Cruise-like protagonist role. He gets excellent backing from Anthony Mackie (Synchonic (2019)), Brian Geraghty, David Morse, Guy Pearce and Ralph Fiennes. The film's portrayal of the war's distance-creating conflict to the life at home burns fiercely, even if Sergeant James' explanation of himself to his son is a bit overly eloquent, (and the film's title remains unexplained.) The trials seem realistic and are awfully exciting.
Camera style-wise I could have wished for some more fluid conversations, but the anxiety is played up here with twitchy handheld work and lots of edits. This is but a minor aside to a truly excellent war picture.
= Box office success (returned 3.28 times its cost)
[The Hurt Locker premiered 4 September (Venice Film Festival) and runs 131 minutes. Boal was embedded with a US bomb squad in Iraq for 2 weeks in 2004, which informed his script. Renner was paid 65k $ for his performance. Bigelow unsuccessfully attempted to get permits to shoot in Iraq or Kuwait. Shooting took place from July - September 2007 in British Columbia, including in Vancouver, and in Jordan, including in Amman. The Jordan shoot, at times near the Iraq border, was a high-stress, rough shoot with average temperatures of reportedly 49 degrees Celsius, illnesses, accidents and dangerous security situations, resulting in reportedly 200 hours of shot footage. The film opened #27 to a 145k $ first weekend in 4 theaters in North America, where it peaked at #13 and in 535 theaters, grossing 17 mil. $ (34.6 % of the total gross). The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were Japan with 7.7 mil. $ (15.7 %) and Australia with 5.2 mil. $ (10.6 %). It was nominated for 9 Oscars, winning 6: For Best Picture, Director (Bigelow became the first female to win the honor), Original Screenplay, Editing, Sound Mixing and Sound Editing. It lost Best Actor (Renner) to Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart, Cinematography (Barry Aykroyd (Captain Phillips (2013))) to Mauro Fiore for Avatar and Score (Marco Beltrami (Love and Monsters (2020)) and Buck Sanders (Highway 395 (2000))) to Michael Giacchino for Up. It also won 6/8 BAFTA nominations, an AFI award, was nominated for 2 Independent Spirit awards, 3 Golden Globes and won 2 National Board of Review awards, among countless other honors. Roger Ebert gave it a 4/4 star review, translating to a notch higher than this one. The film made in excess of 30 mil. $ on the North-American home video market. Bigelow returned with The Miraculous Year (2011, TV movie) and theatrically with Zero Dark Thirty (2012). Renner returned in The Oaks (2008, TV-series)) and theatrically in Ingenious (2009). The Hurt Locker is certified fresh at 97 % with an 8.50/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
+ Best Crime Drama of the Year + Bet New York Movie of the Year
Violence and chaos are promised on this poster for Sion Sono's Hazard
A girly Japanese voice introduces three Japanese friends, who run around New York with guns and a drug-pushing ice cream truck in sheer ecstasy over their freedom in the big foreign land. But, alas, - nothing lasts forever.
Hazard is written by Kazuyoshi Kumakiri (Hole in the Sky/Sora no ana (2001)) and co-writer/director Sion Sono (A Man's Flower Road/Otoko no hanamichi (1987)).
I enjoyed the over-dramatic, almost theatrical youth weltschmerz, which runs like a current through this Sono picture, although at times it goes overboard and becomes pompous pretentiousness, (as when a Walt Whitman quote is shouted aloud by one character.) - I enjoyed it also despite its provocative nature with transgressive, homicidal characters, who we somehow root for nonetheless. The style of Hazard has a poetic edge to it, and its photography (by Hiro'o Yanagida (Cobalt Blue/Gunjô: Ai ga shizunda umi no iro(2009)) is admirable.
Here is a 10-minute behind the scenes look at the production of the film in New York
Cost: Reportedly 300k $
Box office: In excess of 13k $
= Uncertain, - but undoubtedly a box office disaster (returned 0.04 times its cost)
[Hazard premiered 5 November (Sapporo Film Festival, Japan) and runs 103 minutes. Shooting took place in Japan and New York. The film's only recorded gross is 13k $ from South Korea. Its only other market for a general release was Japan, where its gross may have been too negligible/embarrassing for the filmmakers to decide to declare it. If on par with South Korea the final gross would still only give a deplorable 0.08 times return. Sono has reportedly himself said that he dislikes the film and thinks it the least of his works. Sono returned with Prescription Police/Jikô keisatsu (2006, miniseries) and theatrically with Exte: Hair Extensions/Ekusute (2007). Joe Odagiri (Platonic Sex/Puratonikku sekusu (2001)), who plays Shin, returned inShinsengumi!! Hijikata Toshizô saigo no ichi-nichi(2006, TV movie) and theatrically in Suite Dreams/Uchôten hoteru (2006). 740 IMDb users have given Hazard a 6.8/10 average rating.]
More than half of this poster for Christoffer Guldbrandsen's Den Hemmelige Krig is left in the dark, and in the bottom a quote from Danish prime minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen is in all caps; "We must fight terrorism without compromise, and that fight against evil is not one that the US should face alone"
When Denmark joined America's 'coalition of the willing' in the fight against terrorism in Afghanistan, obvious lies from the highest authority, Danish prime minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen, were repeated again and again, when it became clear that the Bush administration did not intend to uphold the Geneva convention concerning prisoners of war.
Den Hemmelige Krig is written by Nils Giversen (De Bortførte Børn (2002, TV documentary)) and co-writer/director Christoffer Guldbrandsen (Made in Denmark (2000, documentary series)). The title translates to, 'the secret war'.
The escape from liability and the abuses committed by allies on the prisoners of war are the film's scoop, and they make it highly relevant. It over-uses one quote from Fogh Rasmussen, and the stylistic and score choices to highlight 'mystery' elements regrettably work against the impact of the otherwise fine documentary.
The chief of the Danish Defense claims to never have heard of prisoner abuse by the Americans in this clip from the film
Cost: Unknown
Box office: None - TV documentary
= Uncertain
[Den Hemmelige Krig was shown on Danish TV (DR) on 6 December and runs 58 minutes. The film was heavily debated and attacked by the Danish prime minister Fogh Rasmussen, defense minister Søren Gade and others. A commission was funded to analyze the film and its statements, and in 2007 the commission largely green-stamped the film as fair and relevant. Guldbrandsen returned with Dagbog fra Midten (2009, TV documentary). 52 IMDb users have given Den Hemmelige Krig a 7.2/10 average rating.]
A childlike landscape painting in the shape of a heart is intermingled with the two central girl actors on this bright poster for Céline Sciamma's Petite Maman
A little girl is helping her mother out after the passing of her maternal grandmother, removing furniture and belongings from her house. The girl befriends a very similar girl in the forest by the house, and she soon discovers something very strange about the girl.
Petite Maman is written and directed by great French filmmaker Céline Sciamma (Water Lilies/Naissance des Pieuvres (2007)). The title translates to, 'little mum'.
It is an extremely calm, meditative and quiet film, which only uses music once towards the ending. The calmness surrounds a plot that seems to be mesmeric to some, while it was regrettably soporific to me. The characters have little concrete characteristics; they are more so kind of art movie 'universal mother', 'universal father' and 'universal daughter' in 'mythical forest house'. Mother and daughter are quietly grieving someone we haven't seen or met, SPOILER and then the daughter befriends a girl who looks like her twin, (they are played by real life siblings Joséphine and Gabrielle Sanz) and who turns out, strangely, to be her own mother when she was her age.
Spellbound or lulled to a lethargic state of relaxation, many will claim the first due to Sciamma's politically correct credentials, (woman-centered lesbian art cinema.) But in the case of Petite Maman, the hype is wrong; the film is but a pretty and snoozy mind game.
[Petite Maman was released 2 June (France) and runs 72 minutes. Shooting took place in France. The film has been screened at numerous film festivals. It is set to release in Germany and Poland in February and March. So far the film looks to theatrically become a huge flop or even a mega-flop. Naturally its performance is heavily influenced and hindered by the China Virus pandemic. Sciamma does not have her next project announced yet. Petite Maman is certified fresh at 96 % with an 8.80/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
Iconic American painting Whistler's Mother (1871) has been manipulated to hold a semi-automatic rifle on this playful, hype-filled poster for Brian De Palma's Hi, Mom!
Vietnam veteran Jon Rubin has an idea to become an adult filmmaker by shooting a film of his New York neighbors.
Hi, Mom! is written and directed by great New Jerseyite filmmaker Brian De Palma (Murder à la Mod (1968)), with Charles Hirsch (Greetings (1968)) contributing story elements.
It is a very uneven and youthful New-Yorker flick that's also enormously typical of the time in which it was made. It flutters this way and that with pompous opinions delivered without consequences.
The scenes of Robert De Niro (Ronin (1998)) as a minute-dictated seductor and Jennifer Salt (Family (1978, TV-series)) as easy prey are amusing. De Niro empathetically acts out all the odd roles that he's given in the sprawling film, which ends with a black experimental theater troupe who become violent as a provocation. Hi, Mom! may well be simultaneously interesting and bad.
[Hi, Mom! was released 27 April (New York) and runs 87 minutes. De Niro reprises his Jon Rubin character from De Palma's Greetings (1968) in the film. Shooting took place in New York. Whether the film ever screened outside of New York originally is unknown. De Palma returned with Get to Know Your Rabbit (172). De Niro returned in Jennifer on My Mind (1971). Hi, Mom! is fresh at 73 % with a 6.70/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
+ Best San Francisco Movie of the Year + Best Superhero Movie of the Year + Most Expensive Flop of the Year: 38.92 mil. $ range
The green giant dominates this poster for Ang Lee's Hulk
Bruce Banner is a scientist who in a failed experiment is exposed to gamma radiation, which triggers a latent mutant gene in his body, put there by his crazed scientist father, so that the result is mad green giant persona the Hulk!
Hulk is written by John Turman (Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)), Michael France (The Punisher (2004)) and James Schamus (Pushing Hands/Tui shou (1991)), based on the Hulk comics (1962-) created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, and directed by Taiwanese master filmmaker Ang Lee (Pushing Hands).
Lee makes an ambitious leap with Hulk, one of the most memorable of the modern superhero movies. Banner/Hulk is no conventional hero; rather a tragic hero if a hero at all. Lee thematizes the rage through several characters, - at least four, - and has success with a comics-inspired editing scheme, using split screen, among other things, as well as an impressive fusion of CGI and practical special effects.
The good performances from Eric Bana (Eric (1997, TV-series)) and Nick Nolte (Teachers (1984)) culminate in a father-son fight in the end, which underscores the film's drama, which is of Shakespearean heights. Hulk is ravishing entertainment.
[Hulk premiered 17 June (USA) and runs 138 minutes. Development of the film began in 1990. In 1998 Universal Pictures put the film in hiatus with reportedly 20 mil. $ already spent on numerous scripts as well as computer animation and prosthetics work. Jennifer Connelly (Little Children (2006)) was paid 1.5 mil. $ for her performance. Shooting took place from March - August 2002 in Utah, Arizona, California, including in San Francisco, and in Hawaii. 2.1 mil. $ were spent on a 30 second TV ad during the Super Bowl. The film opened #1 to a 62.1 mil. $ first weekend in North America, where it spent another 2 weekends in the top 5 (#2-#5) and grossed 132.1 mil. $ (53.9 % of the total gross.) The 2nd and 3rd biggest markets were the UK with 13.9 mil. $ (5.7 %) and Mexico with 11.6 mil. $ (4.7 %). Roger Ebert gave the film a 3/4 star review, equal in rating to this one. It earned an additional 61.2 mil. $ in DVD sales in 2003 in North America. Sequel plans were snuffed out due to the film's disappointing performance; a reboot was instead made with The Incredible Hulk (2008). Lee returned with The Hire (2003, segment) and theatrically with Brokeback Mountain (2005). Bana returned in Troy (2004). Hulk is fresh at 62 % with a 6.20/10 critical average at Rotten Tomatoes.]
