3/15/2015

Cigarette Burns (2005) - Carpenter burns out in weird, tiresome TV movie



Sinister artwork for John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns


QUICK REVIEW:

An aging, wealthy movie collector hires a kind of movie detective to locate a mystical, lost film which is surrounded by bloody myths.

Udo Kier (Iron Sky (2012)) is good as the collector, and there is an exciting basic story here, which gets lead forward by Norman Reedus (The Boondock Saints (1999)), who is fairly credible as the movie detective.
But, fatally, it all seems to stand pretty much still for a good half hour (of this one-hour TV movie episode of Mick Garris' Masters of Horror (2005-07) series), while variations of the same 'warning scene' gets played and replayed with different characters warning our protagonist against continuing his search.
It is directed by master filmmaker John Carpenter (The Thing (1982)) and written by Drew McWeeny and Scott Swan (F.A.R.T.: The Movie (1991), both), who also penned Carpenter's second entry in the anthology series, Pro-Life (2006).
Cigarette Burns has blood, humor, (also of the unintentional kind), and a seemingly classical Carpenter score, - only this one was actually devised by his son Cody Carpenter (Doggie and Me (2011), short). None of it can salvage the result from being a dull TV movie.
Kier's death scene, SPOILER in which he feeds his intestines into a film projector (!), is a highlight in this weird entry in the mostly sub-par series.

Related reviews:

Masters of Horror: Chocolate (2005) - Flavors, visions and eroticism in Garris' TV movie thriller
John Carpenter:
2005 in films and TV-series - according to Film Excess [UPDATED I]

Christine (1983) or, Bad Plymouth!
Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) - Solid action guerilla film-making

Udo Kier with his fateful projector in John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns



  
Watch the trailer for Cigarette Burns here

Cost: Unknown
Box office: None (TV movie)

= Uncertainty

What do you think of Cigarette Burns?
Other thoughts or comments on entries in Masters of Horror or the series in general are welcomed

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